


state of emergency!

by grotesqueries



Category: Naruto
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Dubious Morality, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Implied Relationships, Infertility, Infidelity, Past Relationship(s), Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-03-20 16:10:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 27,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13721277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grotesqueries/pseuds/grotesqueries
Summary: how one trip to Suna trips up everything - and all that comes with it. Three years up in flames and still burning. They rebuild, but the infernos marking their souls aren't extinguished so easily with just water and wishes.mainly neji/ino with tastes of shika/ino and shika/tema. chouji's just here for a good time.





	1. i

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which everything previously contained goes straight to hell.

 

 

_She’s relaxing on a terrance by the pool with Temari, matching swimsuits and all, when she feels Neji's presence nudge at the corners of her mind. It should be strange that she can sense him so easily, but after what they've had - what they've done - it's common. She's more than a little ashamed of that, although she plays it off easily._

_"Is someone else from home visiting?" she asks casually, pushing her sunglasses onto her head and getting up so she can peer over the ledge down towards the gates._

_"Yeah, one of the Hyuugas. The guy, the cousin. You know him, right? He's here for a week."_

_"Oh, Neji." Ino purrs, sliding her sunglasses back over her eyes and smiling coyly. "Yes, we're acquainted.”_

 

* * *

 

  

 

"Hey Tenten!" Ino waves, fast-walking and weaving through the crowd to her lanky friend. "How are you?"

"Ino! Kami-sama, it's been so long. Wow. I'm good! When did you get back? Ibiki sent you off on that mission to Suna to work with their specialists, right?"

 "Yeah. I got back a few days ago. I'm so tired!" she yawns exaggeratedly, swinging her arms out and flawlessly looping one through The crook of Tenten's arm. "I saw Temari, though, and it was so great to see them! Suna has beautiful architecture too, even if it's deathly warm."

 "Wow. I've only been a handful of times and mostly it was just a stopover during a mission--" the two, loping down the road, stop at the corner of one of the more populated sections of restaurants, with tall buildings and warm, curved entrances with cherry girls cleaning tables and serving food to the lunch crowd. "Oh, something smells good! Are you hungry? Say yes."

 Ino laughs. "I could go for some food." They walk arm in arm down the street, waving to the familiar shopkeepers who peek out of their shops and restaurants to say hello. "What are you in the mood for?"

"Something filling! I'm ravenous."

"Been training much?" Ino teases, leading her into a quieter restaurant, filled mostly with older civilians and hospital workers on their lunch break. "I've heard it burns a lot of calories." 

"You'd know," Tenten fires back. "Have fun over in Suna with Kankuro? You were gone for almost a month when you were supposed to be there for two weeks,  _something_  happened."

Ino laughs easily as they sit. A hostess, red-haired with soft yellow-green eyes, hands them single sheet menus. She smiles and raises her hands to brush her hair out of the way. "Yeah, you could say that something happened. He's still as lively. It was just great being in Suna overall. I'd love to go back soon, except maybe with some moisturizer... Your skin dries out like no other! I don't know how Temari can do it, but her skin has always been gorgeous anyway." She places her menu down after scanning it over and unfolds her napkin. If she speaks of any other 'he' separate of Kankuro, her flawless expression gives away nothing.

 "Sounds like a plan. You know, Neji was in Suna too. Around the same time as you were." She says casually as a waiter comes with waters.

"I saw him.  We had dinner with Gaara and some of the elders the night before I left. He was there on a week long political mission, right?" Her lie comes easily from her lips, legs crossing beneath the table.

 "That, and some." Tenten dips her chin with a smirk, raising her glass of water to her lips.

"Don't be coy! How have you two been, by the way?" She leans in, eyes wide and curious. Tenten blushes, a rare reaction. Their waiter walks up just at that moment, all warm colors and curved angles as he leans down to take their orders.

"We're great-- I've got something to tell you." Tenten replies as soon as the waiter is out of earshot.

"Spill!"

Tenten leans in close, hands on the table, and grins. "I'm pregnant. It's Neji's, and I'm going to keep it."

 Ino, to the silent thanks of everyone around her, stifles her scream into a dramatic gasp. "Kami-sama! Tenten! Congratulations! How far along are you?"

Beneath the table, she clenches the edge of her chair with a death grip. Tenten, flushed, lists off statistics and dates, how she found out three weeks ago and she's nine weeks along, Neji knows, how the doctors say her body is in healthy enough condition to carry the baby to full term and there shouldn't be too many complications outside the usual realm of caution granted to kunoichi. A number of months bound to the academy, but she can barely hold back a grin and Ino's smile doesn't falter even as her mind runs wild behind shining eyes.

 "I'm going to throw you the best baby shower ever." she declares as her salad is placed in front of her and Tenten lifts her spoon and starts on her soup. "Who have you told?"

"Hinata knows, of course, and Sakura was the one to examine me so she knew almost immediately. I sent Temari a letter to tell her. I wish I could've told you earlier, but I wanted to tell you in person. Neji agreed, that's why he didn't tell you when he saw you."

Ino nods, picking at her salad and placing small slivers of carrot into her mouth one by one. Something tells her he didn't tell her for a different reason - no doubt the news of a baby would dampen any idea of sex - but she pushes it from her mind. Thoughts for another time, she tells herself. 

"Well congratulations, again." She stands, wiping her hands on her napkin and folding it before placing it back on the table. "I've got to run, I told Daddy I'd cover for him at the flower shop while he ran to pick up another batch of carnations and if I'm late he'll start whining about grey hairs, as if it's anything he has to worry about! Anyway, food's on me. Enjoy the rest of it, and..." she pulls bills from her bag and places them on the table, pushing them under the lip of Tenten's plate. "Get yourself something sweet for dessert." With one last sparkling smile, she walks from the restaurant, hips swaying. Tenten raises her hand to wave before turning back to her food.

 

* * *

 

 

Later that night, surrounded by the sweet scent of camellias and roses as dark as blood, Ino undresses under the bright moonlight from her window. She sweeps her hair over her shoulder and glances at her mirror. Hesitantly, she raises a hand to her stomach and rubs softly, turning sideways and fluttering her eyes downwards. 

 "A baby," she says, soft to the empty air. Her flesh tingles at the memory of Neji's lips between her breasts not seventy two hours ago, and her mouth curls into a frown. A baby, a soon-to-be living, breathing human, and he went on, hands on her sides and lips on her neck, as if nothing were to change. 

Her skin prickles with goosebumps and she pulls a nightgown on with fingers that shake imperceptibly. “He should have said something." she's angry more with herself than him, but she's rougher than usual as she tugs the soft silk over her hips.

 

"I know I should have."

 

She jumps at the sound of voice, a strangled cry leaving her before she can hold it back.

"Neji Hyuuga, how dare you--!"

 "How dare I  _what_? I've seen you in much more revealing states."

 "And in those revealing states you neglected to tell me that your _girlfriend_ is _pregnant_."

“Tenten asked me not to. And when was I supposed to tell you? When I found you inconveniently nude in my room?"

 "I had too much to drink."

"No you didn't. You drank one glass and pretended to sip the rest. I checked."

 She wraps her arms around her waist and pouts, backing up and sitting on her bed. He rests a hand on her windowsill and looks at her with regret in his eyes. "Close the window." She stares through him as he does, watching the smooth movements of his hands and the way the muscles of his shoulders move. "Come here and sit." she tells him after, crossing her legs and fingering the suddenly rather inappropriately short hem of her nightgown. When he sits, he sits close enough that the cold from outside radiates from him and into her. His eyes rest on the crown of ivy resting on her mirror, and despite himself, he smiles. "Do you know how long we've been doing… this?"

"We dated for two years. After that, we saw each other sporadically every few months.  Collectively, I would guess a year. So, three years."

 "How long have you and Tenten been dating?" 

"It'll be two years in a couple of months. Why are you asking me all of this?"

"Shh. And do you remember why we first broke up?"

"Of course I remember, although I wouldn't say it was a--"

"Neji." 

He clears his throat. "You made special jounin and felt that, with the sudden workload, you could not maintain a fully-functional relationship with me."

"Yes. I was nineteen. You were twenty. Four years ago, and here we are again."

 "You only ended it because you were scared."

"No I wasn't." 

"Yes, you were. And you are just as afraid now. It's unnecessary."

"How is it unnecessary?! You have a girlfriend! She's gorgeous and wonderful, and one of my closest friends, if you can believe that! She's pregnant and you love her! I'm not and you don't love me! Don't play dumb, Neji. This changes everything."

 "Do you want this to change everything?"

"No. But it has to. I refuse to continue to carry on an affair with the boyfriend of my _pregnant friend_."

"You are, as usual, morally correct." he stands with a sigh. "I… do apologize for the complication. Ino." he takes her hand and kisses the back of it. Her heart flutters unabashedly. 

 "Kami-sama," she says under her breath as he opens her window again.

"And Ino?" 

"What?" she snaps, wrapping her arms around herself and looking away from him. Regret fills up in her chest already and looking at him would only worsen it. 

"It's not that I don't love you." He pulls her window down behind him and, with one last solemn look, disappears from the glow of the moonlight.

She lies back on her bed and stares at the waning beams of light on her ceiling as they fade, any and all words dying on her lips.


	2. ii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which stagnancy suddenly becomes a blessing instead of a curse.

 

 

 

_"Fancy meeting you here, Hyuuga."_

  _Needless to say she didn't expect his arrival. There were probably messages sent from Tsunade but nonetheless she didn't know he would be here, in Suna, across from her, until the afternoon by the pool with Temari, when she felt him arrive and he felt her surprise himself, the emotion transferring over their shared connections._

  _"Good afternoon, Yamanaka." he says with a bow of his head. They meet in a hallway in the Kazekage tower, and there they stay, tucked away and ignored by passing shinobi._

_"Safe journey?"_  

_"Safe enough. Could have been more interesting."_

  _She nods, ever the picture of politeness. "Stopping by on your way somewhere else?"_

  _"Political mission."_

  _The corners of her lips turn sharply down. "With all due respect, that's what I'm here for."_

  _"With all due respect, you were supposed to be home weeks ago."_

  _"I got caught up. Are you here to retrieve me, then?"_

  _"That and then some."_

  _His smirk is the only indicator of his less than stellar intentions, and she smirks back, fingers itching to touch him._

  _"See you at the dinner tonight?"_

  _She smiles._

  

* * *

 

“You appear to be in perfect health! No bugs picked up from Suna, thankfully, I've heard the flu is wicked this year... Tsunade would have an absolute fit if you carried that back with you." Sakura weaves around Ino, head bent to her clipboard as she jots notes down. "Weight and height haven't changed too rapidly, but you could still stand to put on a few pounds. Just a thought," she adds as Ino glares daggers.

"Hurry it up, Forehead!"

"Alright, alright! Take a seat, you can put your top back on. I’ll just pull up the results of your blood test..." Ino's out of the hospital gown faster than Sakura can move the forms on her clipboard, and when Sakura looks up again, Ino is ready and waiting in the gynecology chair.

"Always a pleasure," Sakura groans, sitting in front of her. After a number of tense moments during which Ino counts the dots on the ceiling, Sakura speaks.  "You're looking good. No STDs, no unusual bumps or irritation. Not much has changed, except… well, I want to do some further examination." 

"What? What for?" Ino sits up, casting Sakura an accusatory glare. Sakura doesn’t look up from her notepad, and Ino can see the results of her blood test under Sakura’s busy gaze.

"Relief. Is that ok?"

Ino sighs, sitting back and shutting her eyes. "Fine."

Sakura reaches for the row of drawers to her right, immediately going for a jar of cream. She smears it over Ino's abdomen, all ruthless efficiency and very little concern over the temperature of her actions. Ino shivers. 

"Stay still!"

"Don't lecture me, I'm cold. You'd shiver too."

 Sakura rolls her eyes and presses both hands to Ino, just above her prominent hipbones, and narrows her gaze in, examining the inner workings. After a tense moment, Sakura releases a tedious breath, clearly anxious. She sits back in her chair, fumbling for a tissue almost blindly, and handing the box over to Ino.

 "When you began taking on regular espinonage missions, what kind of birth control did they put you on?"

 "The normal kind? I mean, it’s some of the strongest hormones on the market..."

"When was your last period?"

" A month or two ago? It's supposed to make my periods less frequent, Forehead, you know that. What's your point?"

 "Well.. From what I can tell, you're barren." 

"E-Excuse me?"

 "From the look of your fallopian tubes, and your hormone levels, you're... essentially infertile.  There's a possibility you could get pregnant, but it's very slim. I can prescribe a medication to help you ovulate and clear up some of the scarring, but you wouldn't be able to take it with your birth control."

 "Holy shit."

 "I'm sorry, Ino."

 "No, it's alright. I… never really liked the idea of having a kid much anyway, I’d only go through with it if I needed to for my family... I think I'm going to go. Are we finished?" Sakura nods, detached in her shock, and Ino pulls her underwear and skirt on along with her shoes and makes her way out of the hospital with an aimless sort of demeanor. She hurries down the veritable maze of streets to the shop as soon as the crisp spring air hits her face and by the time she makes it to the shop she is fighting back tears.

 She takes a seat behind the counter and watches the people walk by with wet eyes. 

 "Ino… Why are you crying?"

 Her head shoots up and she whips her head around to find the source of the all took familiar voice, gravely and soft at the same time. Behind her, Shikamaru leans against the doorframe. 

 "Shikamaru! Why are you back from Suna?"

 "It's complicated. Were you crying?"

 "Why do you care?" She sniffles. Wordlessly, he steps forward and, after a tense moment, holds his arms out. She toss her arms around him and he pats her hair as she weeps into the crook of his neck.

 "Don't be troublesome. Tell me."

 “Saukra says I’m infertile," she tells him, batting her wet eyes into the crook of his neck. "And Tenten, of course, is pregnant."

 He groans. "Ino, you always said you didn't want kids. What's the issue?"

"I didn't! I don't. But Tenten is going to have a baby and I can't give him and his clan what they want!" she sobs. He lowers his chin to her shoulder and strokes her hair.

"This is about Hyuuga, huh? Geez, Ino, I thought you and him called it quits already."

 "We did. For a while," she sniffles. "But it didn't really last. I cut it off this time, though, and you aren't allowed to make bets with Chouji on how long it'll last like I know you do. I'm not going to let anything happen anymore. I can't do that to Tenten." 

"But you can do this to yourself, huh?" 

She sobs into his chest. 

 

As soon as Inoichi returns, Shikamaru and Chouji, having shown up mid-sob session, take her out for drinks, and she wakes up the next morning in Shikamaru's bed, fully clothed and tangled in sheets, Chouji passed out beside her. She peers over the edge of the bed to see Shikamaru sleeping soundly on the floor, hair let down and nostrils flaring with every sleepy exhale.

After a moment, she smiles.

 

* * *

 

When she comes back from grocery shopping (Shikamaru's apartment is always woefully understocked, it almost wounds her that he doesn't take care of himself) he's awake, sitting at the table fiddling with a code.

"I brought food," she says, placing the bags on the table. He looks up, blinking the focus from his eyes, and nods. 

"Thanks. You hungry? I can make breakfast."

 "Sure." she says with a smile, unpacking things from the bags and exploring his kitchen in search of the proper place to put everything. Shikamaru pulls down the skillet, grabbing the carton of eggs out of the fridge when Ino opens it to put a new jar of milk in and cracking four open, scrambling them. In a display of their usual perfect synchronicity, they finish at the same time, and he's serving eggs and toast with jam (with a bowl of fruit on the side for Ino) right as she puts the last packet of instant ramen away.

"Thanks, Shika." she chirps, picking up her toast and biting into it. "Delicious. Is Chouji still asleep?"

He nods, shoveling eggs into his mouth as he goes back to working on his code, foot tapping erratically. 

"Hey, listen, Shikamaru, can I stay with you for a few days?" she asks casually as she starts eating her eggs.

He looks up, reasonably startled.  "Why?"

 "No reason…"

 "Ino…" he says, a warning present in his tone.

 "I just want to escape the part of me that really wants to fuck Neji Hyuuga senseless for _a few days_ , okay? It won’t be for that long. But if he shows up outside of my window again I might have to lock all of the doors and not come out for a week."

"Oi, Ino…. No one wanted to know that."

"You asked. Is that a yes?"

"Why don't you stay with Chouji?" she gives him a pointed look, and he sighs, looking back down at his food. "What a drag. Yeah, sure. Just don't clutter up my bathroom with all of your troublesome hair... nonsense, alright? 

"You're the best, Shika!" 

"Yeah, yeah.”

 

* * *

 

Pregnancy does not serve Tenten. Tsunade assigns her to the academy teaching specialized ranged weaponry skills at 3 months, and she enjoys it - until she watches Neji leave the gates, set to be gone for a month, and she tucks herself into bed beside piles of prenatal medicine, and wonders what to do with all of this free time.

 

Letting herself go suddenly seems like such a petty worry in the face of a feeling not-so-ancient.

 

She’s lonely. A gap not even Lee can fill, with his endless appreciation and enthusiasm for the world. A wonderful uncle already, and Neji trusts him to care for Tenten in his stead. Almost too much.

 Paranoia talking, she’s sure. It’s not unheard of, Shizune warned her she might feel different. Almost guaranteed it, so Tenten buries her paranoia as she sharpens the spare tanto kept in her apartment - no use in tending to inevitable disagreement, not when she knows he only leaves for so long because he has to. It’s out of her hands.

 An even harder inevitability. 


	3. iii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which eyes are opened, and hell starts to hurt.

_"Thank you so much for dinner."_

_"Thank you so much for attending. And Neji, it was wonderful to see you. Give my regards to Lee, will you? And Tenten, of course."_

_Ino slides from the room as Neji and Gaara make small talk, and Neji watches her disappear from the corner of his eye._

_He isn't surprised to find her waiting in his hotel room. He is surprised, however, to find her only in her bra and panties, a matching baby-blue set that matches the color of her eyes. He knows she picked them out for just that reason._

_"Can I help you?"_

_"I don't know. Can you? You're welcome to try."_

_"It would be my pleasure." he hums, sliding his suit jacket off and unbuttoning his shirt. He slides his shoes off next to hers and his clothes join a pile beside hers. She pulls him by the tie, shirt open, towards the bed, and kisses the doubts from their minds._

_She takes the tie after._

 

* * *

 

 

He returns like a gust of air, gone only to return suddenly - gifts in tow, love in the way he prepares her food. She feels bad for doubting him.  Some four and a half months along and she’s loving it, all doubt gone. At night, Neji presses his lips to the small swell of her stomach and tells her stories about his ancestors and the gods that ruled over them, about how when Hinata's mother was pregnant with Hanabi, Hiashi would hold her hand and walk her through the gardens of the compound, telling her the stories of the constellations and ruminating on the glow of the stars. Tenten strokes his hair and runs her fingers over the nape of his neck.

 "I want her to have your iron will. Or him. I want the sea waves breaking at their feet," she mumbles. He closes his eyes and thinks of a sea nymph, basking in the crashing waves of lost and broken men.

"I'd rather they command the earth. No corner unseen, not a stone unturned."

 The sea, he thinks, has already been much too cruel.

 

The next morning he walks into the flower shop after what seems like forever (but is, in reality, more like a month, not that she’s counting) and she is sitting there planting flowers, as if waiting for him the entire time.

 "Neji! Long time no see."  she hides the frown in her eyes with a practiced ease. "How've you been?"

 "Busy."

 "Clearly not busy enough," she teases, as if it's really all that annoying that he wastes his time buying flowers for Tenten that she doesn't need just so he has an excuse to be around her. "I've been busy too, Ibiki is making me work like a madman! When did you get back?" 

"Yesterday morning."

"So that's why you didn't come see me for so long. Your posture's off, did something happen?" She presses her fingers into moist soil and pushes seeds under the top layer.

"You could say so." 

She masks concern behind a trademark smile. "Sit down and help me already."

He takes a seat, pulling a flowerpot full of soil close from the group of them on the edge of the table. She passes him seeds as he begins to speak in his usual low tones.

"Tenten is getting bigger and bigger by the day and Hiashi is pressuring me to marry her. And if I do... the child - our child - won't be bound as I have been. They would be the heir." 

"Well, that's good, right? What's the issue?"

"I'm not sure I want to," he admits, tearing open a pack of purple hyacinth seeds and sprinkling them over the soil.

"What?! Neji! You cannot not marry her. She's carrying your child and you love her! What are you going to do otherwise?"

 "I don't know," he replies sourly, pushing the seeds in and dribbling water over them. "But I'm starting to question the way in which I love her."

 

Ino nearly drowns her plants.

 

He continues as if nothing has changed. "It's depraved, but the elders won't approve of her and I must think of other options. The meeting is within the week."

"What other options?" Ino asks, voice ending on dangerously low. She pushes her finished pot aside and leans in. "Enlighten me, Neji, for whom and for what would you leave her for? Would you rather start a family with someone else?" she hisses, snatching his flowerpot away and pushing it next to her finished ones.

"Yes," he admits. His pride shatters even more than it had before at the look in her eyes, shocked and furious. "With you. She talks about all of her expectations for our child and I… you're the only thing I can think of."

"With me." she sucks in a ragged breath, eyes closed tightly. She struggles to keep her breathing even, in time with her heartbeat, willing her body to calm itself so her mind can spiral. She knows this is it - the mistake she’s meant to clear up broad in front of her. Letting Neji get this far doesn’t rest solely on his shoulders. Her eyes flutter open and he's almost startled by the rage in them. "I can't have children, Neji," Ino snarls, resting her hands delicately on the counter. "I'm infertile and I've been killing myself over it ever since I found out because I may  _never_ be able to give you what she can give you. What you deserve. I can never give you a child, not unless I deprive myself of my _livelihood_ to take the required medications.  But you're telling yourself that that doesn't matter to you, aren't you? You know eventually I’ll have to, my family will need an heir eventually."

"I don't want to live an unhappy life." he replies firmly.

"Neither do I, Neji, and the idea of you not loving her as she deserves makes _me_ unhappy." Unbelievable, really, she thinks sourly. To think he could even say something like that - she realizes she's shaking and shuts her eyes again. "You owe it to her after all we've done. Get your priorities in order." 

"I wish you wouldn't try to convince me of what you think I should feel when I know better than you what I'm actually feeling." he replies tersely. She balls her hands into fists and storms off into the back room.

 

He flips the sign to 'closed' before he follows, calling her name impatiently. 

She's organizing seed packets in a fury, pointedly refusing to look at him, and he groans behind clenched teeth as he places his hands on her waist. "I'm perfectly aware it's wrong."

"Are you? Are you really?" she spins around and puts her hands to his chest to push him away, flames in her eyes. 

He leans in and kisses her before she even registers she should be pushing him away. 

And even though they both know it's wrong, she doesn't stop him. He slides his arms around her waist and tugs her in closer, deepening their kiss and summoning a moan from her. She slides her hands up to his shoulders, arching into him. Tenten flashes behind her closed eyes.

 

Stars flash behind his.

 

 

 

It doesn’t stop her from taking him upstairs. The shop is too conspicuous, so she shoves him away and nearly drags him upstairs, quick as can be, and when she shoves him to her bed and looms over him, his heart almost skips a beat. His breath catches in his throat as she places a knee between his legs, her hands on his shoulders a tight grasp.  

“Ino.” 

“Don’t.”

 “Let me touch you.”

 “Neji—“

 He leans into her, lips ghosting her arm, fully intent on making his way up to her neck and she trembles, terrified, knowing her next steps are ones she can’t undo. Her grip loosens, hands drifting to his nape - a weary secession. Neji pulls her in closer and they fall into each other, eyes wide open.

 

* * *

 

“I’m still organizing her baby shower,” Ino says tartly as Neji rolls off of her bed and ambles into the bathroom. He scoffs at the disarray of his hair, hyper-focused as if ignoring her. She knows he’s heard. “This doesn’t change everything.” 

 He turns to glance at his back and casts a dark scowl her way. “Ino, what did I tell you about my back? You’re awful. You’re trying to get us caught.”

 “I’m trying to make you unhappy so you’ll leave me behind,” she quips in response, glancing down at her nails. Neji’s sigh is damning. 

 “Ino…” 

 Her brain races a mile a minute. For a while she doesn’t say anything, and he raises his voice — “Ino!” — her eyes darting up to him at his pointed tone. He walks back into her bedroom and sets his gaze on her. “You’re being unkind.”

 “So are you.” 

 He furrows his brow as he sits down beside her. “I’ve been less than worthy of any appreciation, certainly, and you must be furious to mark me up this way. Not furious enough to deny me space in your bed."

 “...Sorry.”

 “I know I’ve earned that unkindness. If I comb your hair out, will you fix my back?” He holds the brush up in plaintive offering.

She nods a silent, stubborn agreement, and he melts under the cooling touch of her hands. 

 

* * *

 

Life with Shikamaru is relaxing, to say the least. She finds she can slow down for once, take things as they come instead of splitting hairs trying to be five steps ahead of everything, because that's how Shikamaru is when he's home. He takes his vest off, tucks his cigarettes into one of the front pocket, pours himself a glass of water, and makes himself at home. She envies it more than she cares to admit - it’s an ease unfamiliar to her, her life a nonstop blur, always something to work on. She wonders how he does it- how it is that every time she comes back, dressed in her interrogation corps coat, hair pulled tightly back, he's already stripped down to his boxers, drinking tea and doing sudoku puzzles. 

But at least he lets her bring flowers home, sweet peas with sage, and doesn't complain when he looks up from his dinner right into a bouquet of chrysanthemums.

 “You’re late,” he says. His eyes dart towards the full bowl of food beside him. “Who kept you this time, Ibiki, or Inoichi?”

 “I was just in the shop, you know it clears my head.”

 “Can’t imagine what needs clearing up in that big empty head of yours.”

 “Shikamaru!”

 “Just teasing, don’t go nuclear on me now…” he shovels more food into his mouth, a silent and pervasive surrender. “Save it for tomorrow, we have work to do."

 “I know, I know. Training… I think after that I'll go back home." she tells him casually, pulling a vase down and filling it halfway with water before plopping the flowers into it. A decision made not because she tires of him, but because she’s already disobeyed her one rule - avoid Neji. She could never tire of Shikamaru, not after all of their time together. It’s inevitable anyway that she'll have to face her never-ending desire, knowing her encounters with Neji will repeat time and time again, if she doesn't take control. Shikamaru can only be her rock through hard times if she can recognize when she needs help, and free-fall serves no one.  "Think you can survive without me?” 

"I'm not sure how I survived with you. You far overstayed your few days.” Always the voice of reason during her not-so-difficult days. She can tell he almost wants to ask why the change of heart, when he knows Neji returned only a few days ago. It explains the stubborn decision to return home now, after handfuls of unacknowledged, nights spent in the quiet of her space when she can’t bring herself to go back to him quite yet. 

 "Very funny, Shikamaru, but I'm kind of serious! If you ever need to escape or something, you're welcome to come over… It’s only fair."

 "Ino, your apartment can barely hold you. But yeah, whatever. I'll visit."

She casts him a smile and sits down beside him. It's time to go home, she reasons, and take back her mistakes. 

 


	4. iv

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which unwilling fantasy becomes increased reality, aka, resignation and tenacity.

_"Neji, do you love me?"_

 

 

 

_"Hm?"_

_"Do you love me?"_

_she rests a hand on his chest. he rolls over and rests his head in his hand, pale eyes staring endlessly into her._

_"Please don't lie."_

_he blinks once. she closes her eyes slowly._

 

_When he waves up, early in the morning, she is asleep. He drops a kiss to her forehead and goes to the balcony of his room. She stirs in her sleep._

 

_When she wakes up, he is gone. When he comes back, the only proof of her having been there is her baby blue panties, folded into a square and placed neatly on top of his clothes._

 

_A bluebird chirps its morning song as he walks back to his balcony._

 

  

* * *

 

Tenten is pacing. Her hands wring at the skin of her wrists, a hair falling out of place and into her eyes. The clock behind her ticks four o'clock.

Half an hour late, Neji walks through the door, a bouquet in his hands. Blue violets and pink roses.

 Tenten's never been good with flowers, but as he embraces her and hands her the flowers, a few petals out of place, she swears she detects the smallest hints of daffodil on his collar. 

 "You're late. Your uncle isn't pleased."

 "I apologize, Lee distracted me with another one of his challenges."

 "It's alright, you're here now. Just don't making a habit of it!" she teases. he smiles, nodding, and together, hand in hand, they enter the hall of the elders.

 She didn't know Lee was fond of daffodils, but then again, he's always been fond of being near all of the wildflowers.

 

* * *

 

As they soon find out, in no uncertain terms, the elders really, really don't approve of Tenten. No matter how hard Hiashi and Tenten push for marriage, their thin mouths turn into thin frowns at any mention of the word.

 "It's necessary if we are to have an heir."

 "Hinata's child should be the heir," they reply.

 "It brings dishonor to the clan to have a child out of wedlock, does it not?" Tenten tries.

 "Not as much as having a legitimate child with someone who has no clan," they reply.

 Tenten flinches, clutching her bouquet tightly in her hands. Instinctively, Neji rests a hand on hers, eyes half closed as he stares intently at the maple flooring. Distantly, he wonders how much dishonor his affair would bring the clan. Knowing them, not as much as this. 

 "A clan girl would be much more preferable, don't you agree, Hiashi?"

 "Of course, but we must work with what we have."

 They purse their lips. "It's a shame you couldn't have impregnated the other woman." one of them says under his breath, shuffling paper work. Neji narrows his eyes, knuckles turning white as he tightens his grip on his folded hands.

 "We'll think on it. Adjourned."

 He goes straight to his usual training field after that. 

 And he doesn't come home. He stays out all night and when he comes back the next morning, bruised and shaking, he still isn't sated.

 Tenten is asleep, but there's food on the counter and a kettle full of water on the stove. Even weeks after, she doesn't even mention it, just holds her hand to her stomach and kisses him when he leaves. Protective of her charges, five months in.

 This, he thinks, is more than he deserves.

 

He takes the next mission out of Konoha, and once he’s past the flower shop, and Ino up above it, he doesn’t look back. 

 

* * *

 

Predictably, their particular saga starts at a party. Ino and Shikamaru's annual birthday party, their seventeenth, spanning from Shikamaru’s into Ino's, and Neji goes because Hinata begs in her stuttering tones for a night free of her father.

 He could be doing better things, he says, and a courageous Hinata reminds him that Hiashi would be furious if she goes alone. He thinks of how Hiashi would react to Neji’s knowing accompaniment, and smiles.

 So he goes. He brings them both presents and lets Ino kiss his cheek twice in gratitude, smirking at her clean breath as she chirps “Once for Shika and once for me!" and when the night ends, he's reasonably surprised that he's still gravitated towards her,  watching her dance around him through hazy eyes, softly resting his hands on her hips as she swayed in time and space-- They're kissing and then they aren't, because she's leading him away from the noise and then she's making him a drink and asking him how he's been.

 And then it's a year, and it's more, and they're unstoppable, until Ino makes special jounin a few days before her 20th and begins to panic. Responsibility. Honour. The village above all- protect it or die trying. Don't get attached. 

 She tells him they shouldn't, that her life is even more dangerous and there's too much to lose. Their chances of death are closer now, it doesn’t matter that they’re running in parallel units, not if it means losing him while she still loves him. She won't see him hurt, she says. She can't. He can't either, and can’t say it because he  knows she already knows he’d be too torn between loyalties, Ino and Konoha. “We’ll make it through,” he wants to say instead. Even if they can't, they love each other and supposedly that's enough-- more than the stars in the sky, she says, and he has to agree that no constellation shines as bright as Ino Yamanaka.

 He reasons with her not to, so she kisses him sweetly and says she just needs time. _That's all, Neji. Time to think._

 The village thinks they end in a fiery storm of hate and anger. To them, it's just fire, burning away their bonds, three years up in flames and still burning. They rebuild but the infernos in their minds that mark their souls aren't extinguished with water and wishes. Tenten finds her voice and asks him out, and he says yes, thinking of Ino flirting with Sai, decimating every assumption, the standard of excellence in her missions, coming into hers as a golden child. An improper assumption, and damning as all. Giving Ino that out is what solidifies her demands, he knows. A regret he can’t forget even as he’s above Tenten, hands cupping her face, whispering that he loves her. Their faces too dissimilar to mistake, and yet he almost sees resolution in Tenten’s brown eyes.

 He sees every cold season in Ino’s, knows she saw him as he left the village, could feel her gaze boring into him, resentment forced over her deepest aches.

 

So it stands, what once burned must be reborn, and all he can think about is fumbling to find each other in the back room of the flower shop, and dark corners where she lets him have her, only to disappear in the daytime, before they finally find the ill-begotten match to light their ashes-- When Neji finds his way home from a much-too-long mission, nearing two months of silence, strung between two mission partners, verging on death.

 

Almost. 

 

Not really. 

 

He's bleeding from multiple cuts and bruised in the head, with green tinged skin and blue lips. Poison, low blood flow and heavy blood loss. His hands shake and when she runs up, a scout behind her, his eyes are fluttering, blood running from his mouth. She throws herself upon him, his mission partners back up nervously, and she prays she won't cry while she heals him.

 "Neji- Neji. You can't do this now," she says, voice shaking. "Keep your eyes open. Okay? I know you can hear me!"

 "Okay," he mumbles, spitting out blood. "Ino. It's been…"

 "An awful long time." she supplies nervously. "You know I have to take you to the hospital."

 "You couldn't carry me if you tried." his voice is weak but cockiness still exudes from every pore on his body. He cracks a smug smile, just for her, then heaves a deep breath as he turns his head enough to see Lee still hovering. "Tenten. Go." he manages, eyes shutting. Ino can hear the curse he doesn't utter, and it takes effort to mask her disappointment in his request with due concern.

 But he's healing. The lesser cuts mesh back together, the skin forming slowly. She lets out a breath of relief.

 "Ino…"

 and, unintentionally drops her mask.

 "What?" she asks, voice harsher than intended, her eyes flashing with worry and frustration.

 "Have you ever… heard the tale of the sun and the moon?"

 She shakes her head slowly. "Tell me." 

"They say the sun loved the moon so much she would die every night just to let him breathe…" he coughs more blood and Ino quickly wipes it up with her hem of her skirt, her hands shaking now too.

"I take it back. Don't talk," she says quickly, shutting her eyes nervously and focusing all of her energy into him. "Please."

 "But there's two sides to every story. The moon loved the sun more than she could imagine… he'd die a thousand deaths just to let her be free."

 "I get it, Neji, I get it! Please!"

 She doesn't realize she's crying until she opens her eyes and her vision is blurred and foggy. She can sense Lee and Tenten running up behind her and she lets out a sob before she bows her head and moves her hands to his abdomen. 

 "He needs to be moved to the hospital, these wounds need poultices." she tells them, struggling to keep her voice clear. She finds her statement unnecessary, however, because as soon as Tenten sees him, bleeding, she's rushing over too, much as Ino had. She can feel a level of confusion from Lee and she sucks in a sharp breath. Damn Neji, damn Lee, damn Tenten.

 "He's going to be fine, Tenten. It was tempting, but I couldn't let him die," she jokes, as if humor will ease the weight on her chest. 

 "Thank you so much, Ino. I don't know how to repay you for this—"

 Neji groans, shutting his eyes. He only meant for Lee to inform Tenten, not bring her along. He brushes his fingers along the hand Ino rests on his chest. 

 "Don't. You don't ever have to repay me. It's nothing. Just my duty to this village and to my friends." She flashes Tenten a smile and looks over her shoulder to Lee, who jumps forward as she places her hands on her lap. "Lee, help me get him to the hospital."

 "Tenten… go home." Neji manages as Lee and Ino loop his arms over their shoulders and hoist him up. When he's standing Lee is quick to scoop him up into his arms.

 "No. I want to be with you. I'm not going anywhere." she replies fiercely, a hand on her stomach. A fond smile comes upon Ino's face as she motions for Lee to follow her.

 Tenten sits by his side in the hospital, holding his hand and glaring fiercely at the nurses who come in with supplies for Ino, as if they'd even think of asking her to leave. Ino works fast, barely even looking as she applies poultices and creams to Neji's wounds, massaging the solutions in until the greenish ting to his skin lessens and the bluishness of his lips fades as his body slides back into working order. She gathers her energy and pulls the poison from him, and there's a collective sigh of relief from all three of them - Lee having since excused himself with the excuse of informing the Hyuugas.

 "You have to stay here at least overnight. You have four broken ribs, a sprained wrist and head trauma. No complaining."

 "I wouldn't complain."

 She gives him an amused look. "Remember our surveillance mission to the ruins of Otogakure?"

 "That was different."

 "No it wasn't. You were in the hospital for a week and complained every second you could. I considered gagging you."

 "That's forward," he mumbles under his breath. Ino smirks. She almost forgets that Tenten is with them until she heaves a sigh of discomfort, her free hand on her stomach.

 "I'll give you two some time alone," she says suddenly, putting his chart down and brushing herself off. "I'll be back later to check your vitals." She takes her leave in a rush and outside of his room, she sucks in the breath she hadn't realized she'd been without.

 

* * *

 

"It's so lucky they called Ino," Tenten mentions, her voice heavy with sadness. "I can't imagine if you had--"

 "I would have been fine. Tenten…"

 "I know, it's just… it's scary, you know? I've been conditioned to the idea for my entire life, but when it actually almost happens, it's... different, especially with someone you love."

 "I'll live to see another near-death experience yet. And this." Weakly, he reaches out, brushing his fingers against Tenten's stomach with a satisfied smile.

 "You better."

 She leans forward, resting her forehead against his, and when Neji squeezes her hand, it's more than just instinct. His wounds ache, and his head is cloudy, and he feels her phantom touch on his icy skin as Tenten drops a kiss to his forehead and promises to come back first thing tomorrow. to take him home. Home, to Tenten's apartment and their unborn child. Home to the Hyuuga fields of lilies and his lavender cousins. The acidic smell of the hospital lulls him to a fitful sleep. When he wakes, it's with a chill. His covers have been pushed back and there are gentle hands cleaning his wounds, working healing ointments into his half-knit flesh. It stings but he doesn't react when he opens his eyes. Of course it's Ino who's hovering over him. She has other duties, he's too sure of that, but it's so like her to shirk routine in favor of making sure everything goes perfectly with his recovery that he has to smile. She takes care of her people and she does it well.

 "Good morning."

 "Morning. How did you sleep?"

 "Well enough. Yourself?"

 "Not at all. I've been here since I brought you in."

 He balks. "Yamanaka. What time is it?"

 "It's only been a couple of hours, I think. I said I would stay to make sure you're fit to leave, alright?"

 "And am I?"

 "Fit to leave? Barely. I'd keep you here until evening if I weren't sure of this being veritable torture for you."

 "I'd stay longer if it weren't for the smell."

 "I can bring flowers. I'm taking my breakfast break soon."

 "I would be grateful if you would." She motions for him to sit up as she reaches for a stack of bandages from a nearby desk drawer. As he sits up straight she busies herself rebandaging his back, rubbing a generous amount of ointment into the wound before. She moves to his chest next and repeats the same gestures, bandaging the skin close so the remnants of the wounds heal naturally. She presses a hand to his chest and gently nudges him down.

 "Do you want something other than flowers?"

 "If you see her, tell Tenten I may not be out today. I don't want her coming all the way over here just to leave again."

 She nods, pushing her bangs away from her face with the back of her hand and wiping her fingers clean on her medical jacket. "Astilbe and forsythia? Maybe with some fern..."

 "Whatever suits you."

"I'll bring you back a muffin." she says with a grin, standing and mock-saluting. She grabs his chart from the end of the bed and flips through the pages, making hasty notes that seem to fill up at least half a page. He can't be that beat up, can he? He doesn't hazard a glance down, but he aches enough that he's willing to consider the possibility. "See you soon!" she chirps as she puts the clipboard back.

He raises a weak hand to wave but she's already turned and glided out, pulled back hair swishing behind her.

 

She stops at her favorite cafe for a fresh apple and a muffin to go, making her way through the village to the flower shop. As she goes in through the back entrance of the shop and flicks the peripheral lights on she tosses the still dripping apple core into the compost bin.

Neji's bouquet is a modest wonder, bursting at the seams with white heather, magnolias, orchids and stock, and she carries the pale bouquet with a painstaking gentleness as she backtracks through the village, landing at the hospital just in time.

Tenten is at the check in desk and Ino rushes in front of her, a hurried grin on her face as she cradles the flowers with one hand. "Tenten! Oh, I caught you too late. Bummer-- Um! Neji told me... to tell you not to visit, that he isn't getting out today after all. You're getting so big, how far along are you again?"

She pales. "Thirty weeks… I thought he was fine."

 "He is! He just isn't ready to leave quite yet." She drops her voice. "You know him, he never takes enough time to let his wounds heal."

 Tenten narrows her eyes. "I want to see him. Visiting hours are still open, so I don't think anyone can stop me."

 Ino blinks. "Yeah, okay. Of course. Do you remember the way?"

 Tenten nods as she finishes checking in and when she looks up Ino is waving goodbye as she makes her way past the desk, flowers still in the crook of her arms. Tenten realizes she forgot to inquire about the flowers and who they're for as she watches Ino shrug her medical coat on, one arm and then the other. Not even a petal falls. She shakes the ringing between her ears off and slowly makes her way to Neji's room, up on the fourth floor. Predictably, he's asleep, looking peaceful despite the bumps of multiple bandages under his thin blankets. She takes a seat by his bedside and watches the rise and fall of his chest, sliding her eyes shut to focus on the rhythmic in and outs.

"Okay, Neji!" Ino chirps, bustling in, the bouquet in her hands and a small brown bag dangling from her fingers. "Oh, he's asleep." she shrugs and drops the bag on the bedside table, curling around and carefully dropping each flower into the vase. When she's finished it's overflowing and the fragrance immediately fills Tenten's nose. She flinches and exhales sharply.

"That's… strong."

"Is it? It'll get better." Ino takes a seat in the corner chair with Neji's medical chart and a pen, marking all of the cuts and injuries on his body and remarking on the severity of each one as they heal, her scribblings in the corner providing a dull roar in the background. Finally Tenten stands, hands on the bed, looking harried. 

 "Tell him I was here, please," she asks stiffly before turning and leaving, back ramrod straight. Ino nods but doesn't look up to acknowledge her departure, keeping her gaze set on her work. Neji stirs an undocumented handful of minutes later, a somewhat disoriented mumble announcing that he's awake.

"You missed your wife."

"Wife…" his chuckle is cruel as he shakes his head, sitting up and reaching for the cup of water by his bedside. "She won't be my wife. The elders won't allow it."

 "Oh, is that what they decided?" she looks up from his chart and turns the corners of her lips down. "That's terrible. You have my condolences."

 "They haven't officially decided but I know what they'll say. Regardless of how hard I fight for her, they hate her. They told her to her face that they would have preferred you."

 Ino pales and puts his chart aside. "Oh," she whispers. "Oh, she must hate me. No wonder--"

"No wonder what?" he replies, quick as a whip.

“...Nothing. She's in a mood, it could be a side effect of all of the hormones-- You should eat your muffin."

He presses his lips together in a displeased scowl, reaching for the sealed brown bag and tearing it open. He pulls the muffin out and takes it from the wrapper, devouring it bite by bite. 

"Better than hospital food?"

 "Mmm. What did you say to her?"

 She sighs and picks his chart back up. "Nothing, Neji, geez. I saw her in the lobby, I told her what you told me. Are you feeling any new discomfort? Aches in your cuts, a nagging sensation?"

 "I'm much more sore but experiencing no new pain. Did she see the flowers?"

 "She did. Said they smelled too strongly for her tastes. No comment. Would you say your pain level is the same as yesterday, or worse?"

 "It's better— lessened. You shouldn't have let her see them."

 "They were in my hand, what did you want me to do? Hide them behind my back and sneak them in? They're just flowers to her. Anyone could have given them to me to give to you. You asked for them and I brought them. Perfectly harmless. Would you rate it on a scale of one to ten? One being painless and ten being agonizing."

 "Six. There's a chance she'll think we're…. seeing each other because of this."

 "Well she wouldn't be wrong," Ino grumbles, flipping a page on his chart. "But... I get it. I wish I didn't, but I've made my bed and I'll lie in it. When do you get the elders official decision?"

 He hums. "Tomorrow, perhaps."

 "Perhaps?”

 “I assume I’ll have their decision as soon as I am able to receive it.”

 "What happens when they reject her?"

 "In all likelihood they'll try to force her out of the picture entirely. Take our child and give it to a relative to be raised if it has the Byakugan. if it does not, she may be made to raise our child alone. With monetary help, of course, but alone nonetheless. I'll be made to marry someone else and it'll all blow over." His voice wavers in a rare display of despair. 

 "Do we tell her? We have to."

 "Ino--"

 "We have to. I can't think about her ending up like that-- If anything she needs to know! I don't care if you put the blame on me, I know I deserve that--"

 "You will most certainly not be taking the brunt of the damage from this. I'm the most at wrong, I won't protect myself at your expense."

 "Then tell her. When you're healed, when you have the official decision. Please, Neji."

 He wants to ask what happens after that but he knows all of the answers she would provide already, her taciturn medical voice giving him a series of grey area responses. 

 She gives him another glass of water and he drifts back to a state in between awake and sleeping as she stays her watch, relocating to the chair closest to his bed. Almost shyly, she takes his hand in hers. 

The mess they're in is shameful. Ino can barely think about it without flushing-- betraying Tenten is one thing, but betraying pregnant Tenten is quite another and she hates thinking about how she loves him, because she knows that doesn't make it okay. She hates the absent thoughts that she remembers hours after. She wonders as she's changing his dressings if maybe she could be good enough to marry him, and the thought sickens her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the only note i've got in my word doc for this is, and I quote, "Shiiiiit."


	5. v

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Neji runs back and forth and back and forth, like a dog chasing a ball, and, well, y'know. Nothing good can come of that.

 

_He avoids her as well as he can manage when she’s just down the hall from him. Their trips only overlap a few days, after all, and they both have meetings to attend - rarely with each other, yet he can feel her presence always. A haunting he fully accepts, as the sun teases its descent over the Sunagakure cliffs, and he finds himself outside her door. Predictable._

_She comes to the door before he can knock, and the way she smiles at him is pure light, settling at the base of his spine. “Something I can help you with, Hyuuga?”_

_“I was hoping you’d let me take you to dinner. Kankuro tells me you’ve been… avoidant.”_

_The shadow of a scowl passes over her face. “How kind of him to inform you.”_

_“You leave tomorrow. What’s the harm? You can hand off to me whatever work is in progress.”_

_“Any excuse to make this about work,” she laughs. “Fine. But you pick the place.”_

_“Already done. You know we need to maintain pretenses.” he replies, extending his hand. They glide down the hall and out of the residences, into the city streets by way of the back stairs out. As they sit down, she brushes her ankle against his and grins over her water glass._

_“I think our handoff is going to take much longer than just dinner, don’t you think?”_

_“Careful, Ino…”_

_“I leave tomorrow. What’s the harm?”_

 

* * *

 

 

 

She checks him out personally the next morning, bright and early, making him promise to take it easy for at least the rest of the day as they go their separate ways, him towards the Hyuuga compound and her towards her apartment, taking her time off after watching him for a day and a half. He's called in front of the elders before he even has time to change and put the bouquet Ino brought him into a vase. His uncle hurries him inside the room with barely a "good morning" and he drops to kneel to the elders. 

"Rise. You've no need to kneel when injured. Where is your consort?"

_Consort._ He hides a frown as he stands. "Home, I would presume."

"No matter. She need not attend. We'll make this quick." They fold their dusty fingers and seem to lean forward, looming over Neji even from across the room. "We cannot permit you to marry her. You are the head of the Hyuuga branch clan and you cannot marry someone so far beneath you."

He manages a heavy sigh, holding his hands behind him. "Who would you have me marry? You think everyone beneath us."

"Being a branch member does give you flexibility your cousin does not have. Konoha boasts many powerful clans.  Akimichi, Inuzuka, Nara, Aburame…" their eyes all gleam. "Yamanaka."

They would have him marry Ino, he knows, and though it feels sick the idea warms him. If they knew she couldn't bear him a child they'd whistle a different tune, but he can't bring himself to tell them something so personal. "You would have me--" the words stick in his throat. "--I would marry Ino Yamanaka, then. I know you prefer her. You always have."

"She is but one option."

"I was under the impression that the future head of a clan cannot marry another head. Branch house or not."

One of the elders laughs, his voice creaky. "Something can be arranged. You're dismissed, Neji. Do what you must."

He bows his head and speeds out, ignoring his uncle on the way out. His wounds ache faintly but he ignores it because he needs out, needs to find Ino and Tenten and explain.  They want him too, he can say. They demand it. A loveless, childless marriage. Only half a lie, but lying to Tenten is sacrosanct. She's his other half, the rock that held him, and she deserves an answer that isn't half a lie, half a truth.

He wants to go to Ino first. He should, but he finds himself in another direction, mind too occupied by fruitless thoughts. Maybe, he thinks with a bitter sort of smile, common sense has finally won over. He knows better than to disturb Ino from her slumber after two days spent attending to him. Her handiwork, certainly.

 

* * *

 

Tenten knows the worst is yet to come when Neji arrives at their home struggling to keep his back straight, his injuries completely ignored. She doesn't have time to ask him about them.  He asks her to sit in a grave voice, and if she were a lesser woman her blood would run cold. 

Fortunately, she isn't. She is Tenten and she is a kunoichi, made for stronger stuff and high above weeping over such petty a thing as clan politics. 

But when Neji takes her hand and tells her, his strong voice unrelenting even as it wavers, that he can never marry her, she wonders if the foreign feeling in her chest is what pain feels like. When he says he's been ordered to make plans to marry Ino Yamanaka, that feeling twists into a voiceless sob and her gaze flashes red in her directionless fury. Who to blame? Neji, for being bound by his nobility? Ino, for her disarming ways? Or herself, for her low birth? None of them and yet all of them at the same time, she decides, and it's then that she realizes she's beginning to cry. This is not her. She is a kunoichi, her strength reaching far and high, and kunoichi do not cry, nor do they have their hearts broken. Neji takes her in his arms and together they try to hold back tears, clutching each other with shaking hands. 

"But we'll have a child. I can take your name, isn't there something--" She doesn't need Neji to tell her that there's nothing to do to change their minds, but he does anyway, brushing her cheek with the pad of his thumb. There's some comfort in that gesture, as cold as his touch is. "What about our baby?" she finally asks. 

"I wish I knew. The elders have been frustratingly vague. The best case scenario is our child being given to a branch member to be raised, with… visitation privileges for you and I. If they have the Byakugan. If not, you'll be made to raise them alone. With monetary help, but... still alone."

She wipes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "They would keep you far from your child, wouldn't they? How many leaders raise their children? They're too busy for a child. We can leave. Raise our child away from the grotesqueries of your clan."

"You know I can't do that," he says with a weak smile. "I love you, Tenten. Whatever happens, I won't have you forget that."

She presses her lips to his fiercely. "I'll remember." They spent what feels like ages like that, softly kissing as if it'll be their last time at peace. For all they know, it could be. "Do you love her?" she asks softly. "I would hate to see you go through with a loveless marriage just to please your clan. You should at least have some fondness for her."

He pulls away a little more sharply than intended. "I'm not a liar. I care for her. Ino is a friend despite our past misgivings, but while I am both fond and respectful of her and her many talents, I do not love her the way I love you."

If Tenten is especially pleased by that reaction, the only indicator is her slight smile. "How long do you have to plan? At the very least the time until our baby is born, correct?" he nods and she caresses his jawline. "So we have some time to spare, at least. I've missed you, let's go to bed." her warn brown eyes glint with a still burning mischief. 

He allows her to lead him to the bedroom knowing this may be the last time they have to enjoy each other before everything changes.  He allows himself yet another moment of vicious freedom and reflects after that his rein on himself could be loosened somewhat. If he's to be a good husband, he must remember and readapt. Tenten showers him with kisses as they redress, and although she hides it expertly he can feel the shame and resentment in the way she carries herself, how she begins to skirt around him at the worst of moments -- he leans in to kiss her and she meets him with a hunger, only to pull away with eyes shut as if sickened. 

"Do you want me to move my things out?" It's the wrong thing to ask, he realizes as she shows the slightest of flinches, but he doesn't take it back. He can move his things and slowly break their bonds, or he can stay a bit longer and they can play the happy couple for the time they have left. 

"Maybe you should… Not now, of course, but soon. Continuing to share a space will only make it harder for the both of us when the time comes to separate."

She's got a point, but her clipped dismissal of the issue stings nonetheless. He bows his head in respect of her decision. "I'll be by within the week to start collecting my things, if that's alright."

She forces a smile and touches his shoulder. "Of course. You don't need to skirt around me, Neji. As far as I’m concerned, nobody can keep us apart. Sure, we’ll one day separate, but we’ll always have each other." she shifts her weight beside him and clears her throat. "You should go see Yamanaka. Tell her the news, see how she takes it."

"You are again correct." he picks his jacket up and slides it on, holding his head high as he stands. "I'll see you soon."

"Come visit," she says, waving him out.

The air he breathes feels heavy in his lungs as he leaves her apartment. The compound is across town and the streets are busy, so he takes the rooftops against the echo of Ino's words in his head telling him to go easy. She’ll scold him enough when he sees her - and she’ll recognize shame, purportedly unlike him despite how often he seems to, and scold him even more for that.

She's sleeping still but his persistent knocking wakes her quickly enough, prompting her to answer the door looking a shade away from murderous, hair pulled tightly back. "If I don't answer after the third knock, maybe come back later." she snaps.

"This is important."

In the blink of an eye her irritation fades to displeasure, and she steps back to let him enter. “Sit down. Tell me everything. Leave out the part where you’ve been running all over Konoha in your state. I don’t want to know that.

“Ino. This you will want to know,” he says, taking a seat at the dining table pressed against the wall of the kitchen. "They won't let me marry Tenten. She's _too far beneath me_ , they say. Do they not realize I hold her in as high regard as myself? They would have me marry someone else."

 Ino fills a glass up with water and hands it to him. "Did they say anything about…"

"The child? No. She's not close enough to her due date. A few more weeks of waiting. I'm worried. I-- I do love her, Ino. She's… very important to me."

Ino furrows her brow. "Who… do they think you should marry?" her voice is timid as she sits down across from him, a mug of hot tea in hand. 

"Anyone of a high-born clan, really." He swallows a harsh breath. "They're quite partial to you. You know they’re aware of our history."

Her hands shake. "Does she know? You just came from her." His slow, ambivalent nod only confirms her worst fears, even as she prods him for more. “Neji. What’s that supposed to mean?” 

"I didn't tell her…  I only told her that the elders want me to marry you, I left the affair out."

"That's not telling the truth. She deserves the truth," Ino scolds, curling her legs up and sipping from her mug. 

"She deserves to be happy. I'll shoulder my guilt, and yours if I must, if it will make her life easier.”

“What sort of state are we in, Neji, that doesn’t even…” With a pained groan she cups her cheeks in her palms, throughly distressed. "What did she say, then, in response to this half truth?"

“She was upset, and angry, and a number of emotions I don't wish to repeat, and I understand why. But… She has kindly given us her blessing."

She wants to ask what then. She aches to ask if the elders know she can't bear him a child, if Tenten's child absolves her of that duty. With no clan and the same deep tones in her hair as Neji their child will surely come out a clone of Neji. She can play the dutiful wife in Tenten's presence but how well can she fake it? Bile rises up in her throat. It all works out too well, and tears prick at the corners of her eyes.

"Oh! This is bad, Neji. There's no way we can make this better. I've ruined your relationship entirely, and she doesn’t even know the whole truth."

"No, I have. With your assistance, admittedly... She says she doesn't want to see me in a loveless marriage, and she's… aware I'm fond of you. I told her as much. It may not be half truth forever." 

She groans. 

"Go to her, if you must." she whispers. “And them. Tell the elders I can't bear children. And don’t ever make these sort of decisions without me. I may have to keep this from her my whole life." 

If Neji is anything, it is vigilant, and as he rises, his shoulders set, he nods his head.

"You again have my apologies."

"It takes two to tango, Neji. So you have mine as well."

He does not look at her before he leaves, but she feels a ghost of a kiss upon her cheek still.  

Her veiled warning doesn’t go unheeded as he strides from Ino’s apartment in the city center up to the foothills of the Hyuuga complex, his injuries stinging now. 

He drops down into the branch compound garden and rolls his shoulders to redistribute his adrenaline, numbing the aching in his chest. Unannounced and without a bow, he enters the chamber of the elders and announces his return.

"Back so soon, child? There was barely time to miss you."

He ignores their taunting smiles and clears his throat.

"I've spoken to both Ino Yamanaka and Tenten, and I received Tenten's blessing. However, Ino informed me that without medicine that directly contradicts her mission-required medications, she is unable to bear children. It is not a decision to be made lightly." his words hand heavy in the air like ice, hovering briefly before shattering into a million pieces upon the cold floor. 

The elders are silent. "This is confirmed and not just a suspicion?" One of them finally ventures.

He nods. "Sakura Haruno informed her of her condition during a medical check up two days after her return from Sunagakure, approximately six months ago."

They nod slowly. "And how far along is Miss Tenten?"  

"She has an estimated nine weeks left."

"We will wait for the child to be born before we make plans. if this child is born with the Byakugan as we suspect it will be, there should be no need for Miss Yamanaka to produce an heir. If your child does not possess your eyes, other arrangements will need to be made."

"And what of my child in either situation?"

"Just as you suspect, I'm sure. They will be raised primarily by a member of the clan who is without child. You both may visit. If they do not have the Byakugan, they will be raised by their mother."

Almost exactly as he expected. He swallows a scowl. "That is as just as I could have hoped for," he remarks. "What of monetary compensation?"

"Money will be sent in the event that it becomes necessary." Another elder says, unblinking. He excuses himself with a quiet murmur and retreats to his room. His body begs him for some respite in the form of sleep but his mind is buzzing, refusing to let him drift off. His stomach biting at his heels only worsens the ringing between his ears, too many parts of his body pulling at him — his descent into meditation comes fitfully, but for an hour he is still, and for the briefest two hours of his life, he sleeps. 

He wakes up serene, but nonetheless hungered, the light casting farther and farther over his bed. 

The complex is the last place he can stay, actions still too fresh in his mind, and even to avoid thoughts of convalescence, he departs the grounds in search of food, winding back down the mounded streets. He orders for two at the humbao stand, and exchanges a handful of coins for two steaming bags. No accident that his quest lands him suspiciously close to the center of downtown, only a few blocks from the flowershop, so, takeout bag in hand, he meanders through to the shop, where a cousin of Ino's sits behind the counter, effectively preventing him from going around towards the back steps without being seen.

"Is Ino in?" he asks as he enters, pausing to look at the phlox overflowing from flower boxes. Whichever of Ino's cousins he's talking to, the man recognizes him. "I've got something to tell her."

"Upstairs. Go around through the back and knock." is his reply. Neji nods and loops around, giving a light knock at Ino's door. She opens the door and grabs him by the lapels, pulling him inside. She's still dressed in her sleeping clothes, and there are distinct dark circles under her eyes that suggest she hasn't been able to sleep through.

"You look like you've seen a ghost."

He hums an affirmative. “I daresay I have need of your services.”

“I daresay you should treat your injuries with respect. Come in, then.”

He quirks a smile at her restless laugh. "I brought food. Do you have anything stronger than water?"

She pulls a bottle of sake down from the liquor cabinet and pours two glasses. 

He takes a deep breath, sips his sake, and begins to speak. "I returned to the compound to revisit the elders. I informed them of your… condition. They say this arrangement hinges on my child being born with my eyes. If Tenten and I produce a child with the Byakugan, they can be raised by a cousin and my need for a heir is fulfilled, rendering you free from that particular duty. If they aren't, other arrangements will need to be made. The dominant nature of the Hyuuga bloodline near-ensures that the Byakugan will be present, but the elders have opted to wait until my child is born before making plans. That ensures nine weeks, assuming everything goes according to plan with her pregnancy."

"What about those nine weeks? What are you going to do?” She unfolds one of the bags placed on the counter beside her and peers inside, face lighting up as she takes in the smell of fresh humbao. As Neji begins to speak, she gently rips the bag open and sinks her teeth in.

"Move my belongings out of Tenten's apartment, first and foremost. We've both agreed that continuing to share a space will only increased our hardship when the time comes to go separate ways.  After that, continue to visit her, escort her to her hospital visits. I assume we'll still spend time together when we're married, if you'd permit that.” Eyeing her actions, he follows suit, tearing his bag open and inspecting his bun before peeling the wrapper and biting down.

Ino stifles a laugh through a full mouth. After a labored moment, she swallows her bite. "She's your teammate! Mother of your unborn child! What kind of person would I be to disallow you the right to see her?"  He averts his eyes and she grins, reaching forward to gently hit his arm. "What else happens? You and I, do we just… wait?” A flash of fear passes through her, a voice that stings in her head asking if this is really what she wants.

Neji finishes his glass and licks the residual moisture from his lips. “Thus far, I believe you and I should keep quiet until the baby is born. After that, when the news breaks that Tenten and I have split, perhaps we can start to mend the wound. Get to know each other again, per-say. I don't know when they'll expect us to marry, however. We're both very young. If you’ll still have me, it could be years before I'm required to marry." Years they may or may not have. His missions are life and death and she walks a fine line every time she settles down in someone else's mind, cracking them open before opening their legs. Years they hope they have, but time that could escape them.

They lapse into a comfortable silence, Neji pouring himself another glass and topping off Ino. The clock on the kitchen wall ticks and his breathing lapses into the same rhythm. She inches closer to him and he puts a arm around her, rubbing small circles on her side. "What if I can't do it?"

"Marry me? Surely you can stomach that."

"No, not that. If I can’t do that, I won’t, but if I can— well, what if I can't live up to what's expected of me? I'm happier with the prospect of being with you and seeing where this goes more than I should be, and I don't want Tenten… to see how happy I am and know. If I'm too happy, people suspect. If I'm too detached, people will suspect..."

He raises an eyebrow. "If anyone in the world can play that part with the right amount of precision, it's you. And besides, anyone would look happy being married to me." He boasts, taking a deep drink of sake.

"Put your ego away before it grows a mind of its own." she says, jabbing her elbow into his side. He sighs and leans closer to her, dipping his head down. 

"You should be more concerned with suspicions over my own happiness." he points out, murmuring into her ear.  

She hums noncommittally in response. "Like you said, anyone would be happy married to me.” She tilts her head to look up at him, smug as ever, and he drops a delicate kiss to her lips, fond as ever.  

“Please tell me you have nothing else to do today.”

“I told Tenten I would come pack up my things.”

“Not today, surely? As your doctor I'm required to advise you not to do that today.”

“Not today… I said within the week, but the longer I take the more painful it will be.”

“Stay with me tonight,” she asks. “Or don’t. I may need to speak to the boys, I can’t keep anything from them, so it’s better to spit it out now than later.” She looks down at the last bite of her food. “Don’t tell me I can’t tell them,” she says, voice small. “I tell them everything.”

He pauses to think about it, the tiles on the counter pressing lines into his back. He nods once, silent submission, and she smiles, leaning into him. They lapse again into silence, sipping at their drinks, until they have both finished. He tugs his jacket closer around him. “Tomorrow, I’ll start. But I should arrange moving with some of my family immediately. I’ll need the help if I’m really supposed to take it easy.” he finally says, the scorn in his voice imminent.

Ino looks at him for a long moment, and then shrugs, the gears in her head ever turning. “As long as you aren’t going it alone, it’s not for me to decide.” 

Neji, a little drunk, rests his forehead against hers before he leaves. 

 

* * *

 

The next day brings him and two cousins, boxes under their arms, to the doorstep of their apartment. He still has a key but when they arrive, he knocks and waits for her, flat boxes under arm. She opens the door with a smile, taking the boxes from him. 

“I see you brought company."

“I’ve been told I shouldn’t be carrying heavy things," he mocks in a soft voice. She helps them assemble the five boxes meant for books and already marked for clothes. "You know, you don't have to help. Especially not in your state."

"I know. But I have moved some of your things, I can at least show you where they are.” She stands up, never wavering, and motions for him to follow her. They go past the living room into the hallway and she opens up the closet, where his clothing is still neatly organized, hung up to one side. "I left more clothes here than I realized." he states, his voice lilting towards an apology. She snorts. 

"Not all that much. It isn't like I've got much use for the space anyway. Open that box up, do you mind if it just gets tossed in or would you rather it all neatly folded and colour-coordinated?"

He tries to laugh but can't quite manage to hide a scowl. "I'll organize my things later." He reaches in and begins carefully putting his clothing into the box, folding them loosely. She takes the smaller boxes and moves to her bookshelf, combing through to find his books. 

"Is this yours?" she asks, turning over her shoulder and holding the think hardcover up.

He hazards a glance towards her. "I was with you when I bought it, so arguably it's ours."

"I'm reading it, do you mind if I hold onto it until I'm done?"

"Keep it if you like." he turns back towards his clothes and pauses. "Do you want to keep the hangers?"

"Mmm-nnn." she hums, "All yours."

 

He continues packing his clothing up as they fall into a silence that feels neither awkward nor companionable, the sound of books hitting each other punctuating the silence. He drifts into the bathroom, filling the smallest of boxes with his superficial things, with room to spare. He announces his finishing with a pointed clearing of his throat, sliding the box towards Tenten and folding the flaps shut. She nudges the two small boxes filled with books towards him with her foot as she continues reading the spine of every book to find his. Wordlessly, Neji steps forward and begins to help, grabbing books farther down and rapidly combing upwards, ending with only three other books in hand.

"You left more books than you left clothing." Tenten informs him with a wry smile and a raised eyebrow, holding the box out for him. He drops the three books in, putting them in spine up, and takes the box from her to fold shut.

"Thank you for your help."

She smiles, stepping back and sitting on the edge of her bed. She lets out a contented sigh and rests a hand on her stomach. "That made me tired. Can you believe how ridiculous that is? I can't wait to get back to missions, and training, and doing things."

"You'll be back to your usual workload soon. Tsunade will start sending us on missions immediately, she can't afford not to." he comments. She forces a smile.

"That reminds me, I have an appointment with Shizune tomorrow, will you come with me? Eleven am." she leans back and kicks her legs. 

"Of course." he piles the boxes and picks them up, finding himself eager to leave. "I'll see you then."

"Leaving already?" she sits up quickly, shifting as if nervous. “That was faster than I thought. Have you not told Yamanaka yet? It's almost dinnertime, Neji. What have you been doing all day?"

He sighs, slanting his gaze at her. “I saw Ino yesterday. We’ve got a lot to discuss besides. I had intended to eat, as it’s dinnertime, but I’m in equal need of some sleep." he replies flatly. “I've spent a greater amount of time than I’m quite comfortable with handling the affairs of my clan."

She raises her hands in mock surrender. "I give. You do need a nap, Hyuuga. I'll see you tomorrow."

He hefts the boxes up into the arms of waiting cousins and turns on his heel. "Anything else you see that belongs to me, don't hesitate to inform me. I'll meet you here tomorrow, if that's alright."

In his peripheral, she nods, lying back on her bed and rubbing her stomach. "Oh. The baby kicked."

He loops back from waving his helpers away, and crowds in to press a hand to her stomach. Their baby kicks and his face lights up in unvoiced surprise.

"Isn't that cool? It's aliiiive," she says, waving her hands spookily. Neji smiles, looking up at her. 

"Indeed it is."

 

* * *

 

Shortly past the dinner rush, the streets of Konoha are lit by wavering street lamps and people still occupy the streets, gossiping with shop owners and eating rabbit-bites of their food. He's later than he intended to be, but if there’s anywhere he’d like to be, it’s with her. As he scales onto the rooftops of the shops and hops towards the windows in her apartment overlooking the small burst of foliage behind the flower shop, he finds that she is awake.  He raps on the slightly chipping wood of her window frame twice as warning before opening her window. She motions for him to come in, seated at her dining room table and hunched over a giant bowl. He slides the curtains closed behind him and, after stepping out of his shoes, slides onto the seat beside her, dipping his head down to her shoulder and exhaling sharply. She slides her bowl towards him. 

"You look exhausted. Just how much running around did you do today?" She asks with a frown. 

"Whatever I tell you, you'll still say it was too much." Although adrenaline kept him running he's starting to feel the ache of his body catch up with him.

"Alright," she concedes, biting her lip. “So you’re moved out. But you had a week. How much of it could have been put off until tomorrow?"

He goes silent and she grins, victorious. He rolls his eyes as he picks up her discarded chopsticks and begins to eat. Dressed in a loose fitting top and tight shorts with her hair let down, she looks ready to crawl under the covers and take him with her. He glances towards her, noticing a fond twinkle in her eyes, and reaches his hand out to take her hand. 

"The baby kicked today," he tells her, keeping his voice soft, running the pad of his thumb over her knuckles.

 A flash of pain crosses her face before she blinks and turns the corners of her lips up. "Doesn't it feel weird? When Kurenai was pregnant the three of us would crowd around every time the baby kicked. Chouji thought it was fascinating." She exhales a laugh and leans back. "I had never felt a baby kick before. I'm the youngest in my clan, you know. So are Shikamaru and Chouji. A lot of us are, actually, but when I was a kid it was just the three of us, you know?" she reflects, taking the chopsticks from his fingers and leaning in to take a bite. "Did you ever feel Hanabi kick?"

He shakes his head. "When I was very young I felt Hinata kick in her mothers stomach. I don't remember it well. When Hanabi was born, I was… preoccupied."

She nods and hands the chopsticks back, letting him have the last of the food.   Their hands stay twined together as he leans forward to push the bowl away. Her glass of water in hand, she stands and leads him into her room. Her bed is still undone from the last instance of interruption, no doubt the after-effects of the trio. The purple sheets perfectly match the soft lavender tones of her room, the warm heathery tones faded from brighter colors. She lies back and he mimics her, their hair fanning out across her bed. 

"Remember Suna?"

"As if it were yesterday."

"We could go back, you know. Shikamaru is going back soon, and me with him. Chouji too. I just found out. You can ask to be my escort, or just go by yourself. You're due for some leave, right?"

"We can't parade our affair in another village."

"We wouldn't be _parading_. We're shinobi, we can keep a low profile."

"We're better off staying here." 

"Where we're more likely to get caught? Take a month. Less, even, but… we need to know that this still works. Hope is great, but lightning doesn’t always strike twice."

“Is that really what you’re afraid of?” he sighs, pressing a finger to the bridge of his nose. "I will see about joining you," he tells her, pulling her body in towards him and pressing a kiss to her temple. She falls quiet as he tilts her chin up and a faint tingling in the back of her head begins as they kiss.


	6. vi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which travel plans are made, realizations are had, and Shikamaru chain-smokes his way to nirvana.

 

_It’s with some regret that she must leave before him._

 

_"I can stay," she tells him softly as he comes up behind her, brushing her hair off of her shoulder and pressing his lips to the bare skin of her shoulder. "A few days is nothing, I've already been gone for a month."_

 

_He shakes his head, wrapping his arms around her waist. "You don't have a reason to stay longer," he says, resting his chin on her shoulder. "Not a reason Tsunade will believe, anyway. She specifically told me to tell you to leave within the week."_

_She hums a stilted laugh at that, sighing good-naturedly as she finishes packing. Her hair smells like lavenders, and he watches her fold and tuck away his tie away with affectionate amusement,  smiling into her hair. Her body is warm against his, heated in part by the scorching sunlight that streams in through her window._

_When he sees her off at the Suna gates --_ courtesy _, he tells Gaara as he requests a break in their meeting so he can see her off, it's only polite - he brings her a crown of fake ivy, taken with a laugh, a smile and a nod of thanks._

* * *

 

Soon is a lot sooner than he expected.

 

As in a week, as in he's barely left her before she's leaving him.

Well, technically not leaving him. She's leaving the village, arms linked tightly with those of Shikamaru and Chouji, their packs strapped to their backs.  He sees them off along with a small crowd of others. Chouji's mother comes forward from beside Chouza and presses a bento box of food into each of their hands, laying soft kisses to their foreheads. Yoshino Nara and her husband Shikaku hand Shikamaru his tanto, something that makes Ino laugh - "must you always forget that?" she asks, and she has only a few seconds to beam at Shikamaru's scowl before Inoichi moves in to put a flower in his daughters hair, and Neji immediately notices the absence of a woman by his side with flowers in her hands and a soft smile.  He remembers the week Ino did not come to school and the week after when she wore only dark flowers in her hair. A silent memorial to her mother. A pit forms in his stomach, and he retreats back, keeping a respectful distance and nodding his head as his gaze catches Ino's, a silent farewell. He wants to ask how long she'll be gone, now that he isn't going off with them, but he knows it's strategically best for her to be gone for as long as she can be and so he refrains.

Shikamaru glances his way and Neji catches a flash of worry cross Shikamaru's face before he turns his disapproval towards his parents and waves all of them off, motioning that they have to leave. Their parents embrace them one by one - not all that willingly, notably. Shikamaru's mother only pecks him lightly on each cheek, whereas Chouji's parents both engulf him in hugs and Ino's father lingers when he kisses her forehead.

Neji swallows and turns on his heel, disappearing back into the village.

 

* * *

 

"Did I see Neji Hyuuga at the gates?" Chouji asks as they set off, leaving the gates of Konoha a mere speck behind them.

"Yes, you did," Shikamaru replies, his voice grave. Ino casts him a scornful glare, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "I wonder why," he says after, meeting Ino's glare with one of his own. "Weren't you at my apartment a few months ago asking to stay so you could avoid your, and I quote, urge to fuck Neji Hyuuga senseless?"

"What?!" Chouji squawks, digging his heels into the ground as he skids to a stop and glances over his shoulder at them. "Where was I for this?"

"Asleep in Shikamaru's bed." Ino supplies. Shikamaru rolls his eyes with a heavy sigh, and she turns on him again, a finger raised. "One, none of your business. Two, yes I was, and I succeeded. Three, I don't know exactly why he was there. Did you see him talk to me? No, because Daddy wouldn't stop putting flowers in my hair. Maybe he was curious as to where we're all going."

Shikamaru snorts through his nose as he shakes his head, striding up to Chouji. "I hope you know what you're doing, Ino," Chouji says after a pause. "I know you say you always do, but… He's got a girlfriend. And a kid on the way, which is even worse!"

"Everything is fine! You two are so obsessive-- I'll tell you everything. Geez." she jogs up to them, waking between them and motioning for them to stay close so they can hear her. "So Neji and Tenten can't get married, according to the Hyuuga elders. He's heartbroken, she's heartbroken, Hiashi's hopes have been dashed, whatever. They want him to marry a girl from one of the rookie nine clans. Essentially, that means me, since Kiba's sister Hana is too old for him, Hinata is his cousin, Tenten has no clan and Sakura is, well, a number of things, one of which is being from a civilian family. So if Tenten and Neji's baby is born with the bloodline, my infertility is immediately bypassed and he can marry me if we still want that. It's a little ridiculous, right? Right. So he and I kind of have a thing, on the way down low. Mostly we just hang out, we haven't had sex in… a couple of months?"

"Pause, fast forward," Shikamaru drawls. 

"What, you can brag about your sex life with Temari when you think I'm not listening but I can't even mention mine?" she whines with a scowl. "Not fair. Even less fair since this mission is basically a thinly-veiled reason for you to visit her, but whatever! Apparently it isn't my business. It is my business, however, that, um, Neji might be taking a few days vacation to come to Suna."

Chouji chokes on his saliva and begins to wheeze, somewhere between a laugh and an anguished screech. "Seriously?" he finally says, attempting to sound exasperated and failing spectacularly. "At least you're both out of the village. Does Tenten know? She's got to know, right?"

"Neji told her that the elders want us to marry, and… strangely we have her blessing. It's all very guilt-inducing, I know. Can we please talk about something else?"

"She doesn't know about the affair?"

"It's not _really_ \--"

"Ino," Shikamaru warns. 

She sighs. "No, she doesn't. Her happiness over our guilt, he's decided. I wanted her to know, but he has a point."

"Who else knows?"

"No one, I think."

 

* * *

 

"You went to see her off at the gates? That's so obvious!"

"It was nearing sunrise, I don't believe anyone who wasn't there saw me. Shikamaru and Chouji are old friends, I could just as easily been seeing them off."

"But you weren't. You were seeing Ino off, and you'd better hope no one saw you."

"Hanabi, no one saw me. Their families were more concerned with their children than the people around them. Leave it and go back to your training." he grounds out through grit teeth, waving her away. A trusting relative or not, Hanabi is the last person he needs pestering him. It's worse enough that she knows - she's sworn to secrecy and bound by a startlingly low amount of bribery, but nonetheless she knows, having seen him come home from hers once, smelling the flowers and deceit on him.

When she scampers off with a keen smirk he exhales a sigh of relief and bows his head, mentally running through all of the things that need doing that day. Training with Lee is already done for the day, and if there's time, visiting Tenten. He needs a new set of shuriken, and his kunai need sharpening, and then, yes, of course, a short meeting with Tsunade to discuss time off. 

He cracks his knuckles and rises, broadening his shoulders and making a beeline for the Hokage tower. Shizune looks expectant as he arrives and immediately motions for him to enter, pressing a thin finger to her lips. He enters, noiseless, and finds Tsunade gently nursing a bottle of sake.

"Would you like me to return later?" he asks, dropping his voice.  

She shakes her head and tosses her free hand up. "You made an appointment. Better than most, Hyuuga. What is it?"

"I… would like to know how many days off I am entitled to." When Tsunade grins he rolls his shoulders, bracing himself for get response. 

"I didn't know you knew what a day off was, Hyuuga. This is unexpected. What's the occasion?"

He glances around her heavily decorated room and purses his lips. "Nothing except for a week or two off before I'm expected to become a father."

"You're a Hyuuga, and the heir to your branch house no less. You won't be raising anything except for your rank. If anything Tenten should be asking for leave off." 

"If I could formally ask for her I would, but that's her decision," he replies, voice tight and unfeeling. He focuses on the rolls of scrolls behind her and wonders how many hold the secrets that bind their world and how many contain recipes for food. It's a mixed basket in their village. 

"How long exactly?"

"How much time is at my disposal?"

"Seeing as you're a more than reasonable workaholic, however long you like."

"Two weeks effective as soon as possible and then I'll take the next missions you have for me."

"You'd have yourself booked straight until her delivery, wouldn't you? I'm grounding you two weeks before she's due. Kunoichi are known to deliver early.” She rifles for a scroll and hands it briskly to him. “Here, complete this, and you can leave in a week. Enjoy it while it lasts, Hyuuga, seeing a child born changes you."

She's steadily going towards being black out drunk, he realizes, and decides it's best to nod and now out with a thanks before she finishes the bottle. As he exits he casts a silent question Shizune's way, too polite to ask outright about the state of his hokage but curious and concerned nonetheless. 

"Anniversary," is all she says, and Neji immediately understands that it isn't life, it's death, and in time like these, fresh from a looming threat of war, some are more prominent than others. 

 

* * *

 

He surprises Ino. Suna has no beaches but they do boast spacious pools to make up for it and that is where he finds her, lounging in the shade, bent over a shogi board with Shikamaru beside her and Chouji across. 

"You're terrible at this," he hears Shikamaru drawl and she slaps his arm with a pronounced frown.

"And you're a terrible friend. Don't you have a lady love to reunite with, you stick in the mud?"

"It's been a week, we've already _reunited_ ; you can lay off the charade.  Here, Chouji." He leans over, doing Chouji's next move for him.

"Unfair!"

"Protest overruled."  Shikamaru counters, leaning back. Chouji watches him from the corner of his eye and he pales as Neji approaches.

"Am I interrupting?" he asks softly.  Ino grins but doesn't stand, patting the space on her other side. 

"Hyuuga," Shikamaru says in way of a greeting. "Care to join us? You'd provide a better challenge than these two."

"I take offense to that. I am actually winning, despite Shikamaru's _egregious_ foul and obvious display of favoritism towards Chouji, whose sole purpose for playing happens to be the slight chance that he could get all you can eat barbecue here, _as if he doesn't get enough of that back home!_ " 

Neji takes a seat, blinking slowly and slanting his gaze towards the azure blue water rippling in the pool. Chouji flushes bright red, fumbling his pieces. "That is not my only reason, Ino!"

"But it's the main one," she argues, eyes shining as he leans back in defeat and takes his turn. "Oooh, bad move!" she sweeps his piece and gives him a huge grin. "I win!" Chouji sighs, slumping forward. 

"Why are we playing this?" 

Both Ino and Shikamaru shrug, prompting another weary sigh from Chouji. Neji looks up form the water and fixes his gaze on the shoji board. "So what brings you here, Hyuuga?" Chouji bubbles, breaking the silence. 

"Just seeking some off time before Tenten gives birth."

"Cutting it a bit close," Shikamaru notes quietly, never taking his eyes off of Ino, who fidgets. "So pleasure over business, then. Interesting timing." 

Ino rolls her eyes rather dramatically, shoving at Shikamaru, prompting Chouji to let a stifled laugh escape. "Ignore them! They know everything, Shika's just trying to scare you because he's a _terrible_ person. How was your trip over here?"

"Uninteresting. What exactly are you all here for?" He crosses his legs and pulls a bottle of water from his pack. "Surely something of importance for Tsunade to allow a months leave."

"Technically we're getting paid to be here and settle plans for further officiating the union between Suna and Konoha, but seeing as that isn't really an issue we're mostly here for some time off."

"Officiating the union? How exactly do you plan to do that?"

"A marriage is traditional, and Shikamaru and Temari seem like the perfect people for it, but the elders aren't all that open to marrying their princess off, and Tsunade isn't keen on losing her chief strategist. So we're brainstorming! Officially. If anyone asks we haven't reached a decision yet." Chouji offers with a grin, pulling a bag of chips out form his pack and popping them open.  Ino nods sharply, reaching over the board and plucking a chip from the bag. Shikamaru blows air out of his nose, shifting his weight from his knees to crossing his legs and lying back, looking up at the sky.

"It's troublesome."

"Why has that task fallen to you three?"

"None of us can get married without the blessing of the other two. Old tradition, didn't I tell you that?"

"So Shikamaru makes plans to marry Temari with your blessing and that's that? You did neglect to mention that part." he says, voice tight.  The last thing he needs is another roadblock, and from Ino's closest friends nonetheless? He exhales sharply out, clearly pained, and loosens the tension in his shoulders with a deep breath. She reaches a hand out towards him, prompting Chouji to scoot a little closer to Shikamaru and lie back with him.

"Neji! Don't look so worried."

"I'm not worried. Cautious would be a better word."

Shikamaru groans. “I thought we agreed we wouldn’t have this talk here.” 

“We agreed we wouldn’t have this talk in public.” Chouji supplies dutifully, glancing around. “It’s quiet, but I don’t trust it.”

“Later, then,” Ino says, rolling her eyes. “It’s not like it’s a conversation I’m dying to have.”

Neji glances between the three, staring at each other, and briefly wonders what he’s missing. 

 “Not that it’s a subject I’d like to continue, but yeah, I probably will end up marrying her. Later, preferably... Too troublesome."

_Just a friend, really,_ Ino mouth in explanation. "Told you. It wouldn't be that bad though, would it Shika?"

"No." he sighs. Ino beams, and Neji shuts his eyes tight. The weeks until Tenten's birth can't move any faster, can they? He wonders what Lee and Tenten are up to -- training, most likely. Not even Sakura could keep Tenten from training, and she and Lee train weekly, with or without Neji.   Ino brushes her fingers against his and his eyes dart up towards her, studying her intently.

"Are you hungry?" she asks, shifting her weight to stretch her legs out. "Veggies sound good, right?"

"Ino, if you had it your way you would only eat vegetables. Let's get ramen." Chouji counters, sitting up abruptly with an alarmingly bright smile. "With extra pork! And you can get extra veggies, and everyone is happy!"

"Sure," Shikamau sighs in response, and Ino looks towards Neji still, expectant. 

"Ramen is acceptable." and without further ado the three spring to their feet, Chouji and Ino both reaching out to pull Shikamaru up. Neji stands up and brushes himself off, waiting for Shikamaru to pack up the board and pieces before the four of them begin towards the lower city section of Suna, where canvas sheets cover market stalls from the blazing sun and open breezes flow through the windows of all of the shops. Neji trails back to fall into line with Ino, fingers brushing hers as they all chat and laugh. He's glad to be away but still wary in the company of the three teammates, despite the strange feeling of protection their ever hovering presence brings.  

 

* * *

 

Back home, Tenten stretches in a field with Lee, struggling to bend down with her protruding stomach.

"Do not force yourself!"

"I know, Lee," she sighs, sitting up and stretching her arms up. He leans over to grab her hands, and she pulls him, stretching him over his spread legs. "Have you heard anything about Neji? He hasn't sent anything since he left for Sunagakure."

"Sakura mentioned that Tsunade received a letter saying he had arrived safely, but other than that, I have not! Why is he in Sunagakure?"

"He didn't say. I assume another mission before I deliver."

"So many missions to Sunagakure lately. I wonder!"

Tenten pauses, releasing Lee's hands. "Who else is out on missions there?"

"Shikamaru Nara, and Sakura was complaining about increased hospital shifts, so I assume Ino accompanied him, which means Chouji Akimichi is no doubt there too! Those three accompany each other everywhere."

"Shikamaru is a political envoy and strategist, why would he need two people accompanying him?"

Lee shrugs, springing to his feet and holding his hands out to Tenten, who pulls herself up somewhat slowly. "I do not know. Perhaps you should ask Tsunade? I will go with you! We can take the long way around."

"I'm really tired, Lee."

"The short way, then!"

"Lee... really, it's okay." 

"But I'm curious as well! Would you like me to carry you?"

"I can walk!" she steams, grabbing her pack and storming past him. He bounds beside her, chattering. 

"So how is the baby?"

"It kicked a few minutes ago. I've got terrible heartburn, which Shizune says means the baby will have a lot of hair."

"I'm very glad to be an uncle, you know! if the child has enough hair, you should give--"

"I know where you're going with that, and no, my child will not have your awful hair style." Tenten chides. "And you'll be godfather, assuming--" she stops herself then, busying herself looking at knives in a store window.

"Assuming what?"

"Ah, nothing, I lost my train of thought. Don't worry about it." it hangs heavy in her heart to not be able to tell Lee that maybe, just maybe, she couldn't keep her child near, that Lee couldn't be the godfather to a child barely seen. The words weight her tongue down, and the thought of admitting she will not marry Neji as everyone assumes is heavier still. "You're gonna be a really good uncle."

He beams at her, tugging her along down the windy path toward the Hokage building and the monument overlooking it. "Thank you, Tenten! Have you decided on names yet?"

"Hizashi if it's a boy, after Neji's father, I think, and if it's a girl..." she frowns then. "We haven't decided." Really they've barely talked about it since the news broke, the thought too sour to contemplate. It is just like Neji, she thinks, breaking away and putting up his barriers before something can hurt him. The Hokage building looms in the distance, getting bigger and bigger as they approach. The lobby of the building buzzes with chatter and movement, cloaked figures flitting to and forth between departments separated by stairs and heavy doors. Lee helps Tenten up the stairs, placing a gentle hand on her back when she pauses to catch her breath, her hand on her stomach. 

"Only six more weeks," she says with a bitter laugh. Lee squeezes her hand.  

"You can do it, Tenten! Two more flights!"

"Child's play!" she crows, taking the steps two at a time, pacing with Lee, grinning at his cheesy motivations until they reach the top. 

"You did it!" he cheers, and together they enter Tsunade's office. Shizune sits at her desk, skimming through papers and humming a foreign tune. 

"Is Lady Tsunade in?" Tenten asks. 

"She's out at a lunch meeting currently. Would you like to schedule a meeting when she returns?"

Tenten begins to reply but Lee cuts her off with his brash voice. "There is no need! Perhaps you can help us, Lady Shizune?"

"What is it you need?"

"We want to know what details are permitted regarding Neji Hyuuga's mission." Tenten supplies. Shizune pauses in her work, putting the sheets in her hands down and turning towards a row of scrolls behind her and scanning. She finds the scroll and grabs it, unfurling it. 

"Neji Hyuuga isn't on a mission currently." she finally says, turning back and rolling the scroll back up.  

Tenten and Lee both balk, gaping openly. "He told me he was going to Sunagakure, he must be on a mission."

"The only mission focused in Suna is a political envoy mission."

"And he isn't on that, is he?" Tenten sighs. "Ino and her teammates are."

"He wasn't assigned to it, no. Says here he's taking time off for... two weeks."

"Neji never takes time off. The last time he took time off it was medically required."  Lee pales, clutching Tenten's shoulder. She shrugs him off. 

"Lee, relax. He's not sick, he's been out of the hospital for two weeks. Ino herself released him. Do you know a reason why?"

"If I had to guess, time off before he becomes a father. Anything else I can help with?"

Respectfully Tenten shakes her head, taking Lee by the elbow and walking out.

"Two weeks? This is quite unusual!" Lee notes, extending a hand to her as they start down the windy stairs. "I will have to ask when he returns what he did."

"Good luck with that. Chances are he'll be booked straight until I go into labour, you know that."

"Surely he will find time for a teammate!"

"I'll make sure he does." she promises. She doesn't have it in her to remind Lee how highly unlikely it is that Neji will find time for him. 

She wonders how likely it is that he'll find time for her. 

 

* * *

 

Chouji, Ino, and Shikamaru usually share when they travel, Neji is informed, but in Suna it's beneficial because they're rarely all in the same place. This time, they have two rooms - One in the Kazekage's personal quarters and one in a hotel nearby. 

"They try to make it so official but we’re all over the place. Wherever is most  convenient, in case Temari makes a house call, or I have some pressing lady issues Chouji simply cannot accommodate." Ino quips. 

"That's only funny if she's a medic,"  Shikamaru drawls, circling around the partition separating the cafe and the street. He takes a quick look around before pulling a cigarette out and lighting it. 

"Lighten up," Chouji says. Shikamaru snorts.

"The joys of being important," Neji says, and Shikamaru snorts. 

"Oh joy. The formality of importance, what would I do without it?"

"More importantly, what do you do with it?"

Shikamaru shrugs. "I don't bother. I don't need it."

Ino, already done with her ramen and sufficiently annoyed by their conversation, sighs. “Shikamaru, how you ever became a chief strategist with your flagrant disrespect for social hierarchy is beyond me.”

“I don’t need to respect it as long as I acknowledge it. I openly acknowledge that I have no need for further importance. I have too much of it.”

Chouji hums as he shuffles his rice around, glancing towards Neji and training his eyes. “Hyuuga, you probably feel the same, huh?”

“I do and I don’t. Importance and pedigree are certainly part of why I use adhere to such strict bylaws, but it’s through those boundaries that one finds room to breathe. If I had been brought up with no such structure I would not have such a sureness of myself. Is it the same for you?"

"I suppose it is - I've never thought about it. I wasn't raised knowing those boundaries. They didn't matter to the three of us, and I didn't realize we were any different until I was older. The by-laws imposed upon me by my dad were a lot more subtle.”

“It’s my impression that many clan by-laws are the same...”

“Protect yours, is what dad told me.” Chouji supplies. “I’m sworn to protect Ino and Shikamaru, just like my dad is sworn to protect their dad’s, and they in turn have their own pact.”

“Sounds familiar,” Neji sighs. He brushes his hand by the bandages covering his forehead as he pushes hair from his face, and for a brief moment he’s overcome with rage. Such a simple pact made so violent. 

Ino’s gaze never leaves him.

“A change of topic?” she suggests, raising an eyebrow. 

 

* * *

 

The three of them corral him into Shikamaru’s room, deep enough in the Kazekage’s home they’ll be guaranteed privacy. 

“Let’s make this quick, I already want literally all of you out of here,” he drawls, lighting a cigarette on the balcony. “Chouji, do the honors?”

Ino and Chouji share a glance, part eye roll and part shrug, before turning on Neji, who, to his credit, looks only mildly disturbed. 

“I assume I’m getting the talk,” he supplies, and he fully expects Ino’s huff in response. 

“Yes, you’re in for a ridiculous and lazy interrogation, all because we’re inextricably tied together by ancient clan politics,” she chimes, crossing and uncrossing her legs absently. Chouji can’t help but laugh at her shameless mocking. 

“It’s not so bad.”

“Oh?”

“Oh, the _banter_ , _come on_. Are you going to love her? Or are you going to leave her in tears on my doorstep?” Shikamaru barks. “It’s happened more than once. I’m done tolerating it.”

Chouji looks apologetic. “You don’t have to answer that.”

“Yes he does. It’s a valid question, and he’s an adult.”

“I should hope I never leave her in that state again.” Neji replies, wistfully glancing at Ino, who stares back shamelessly. “I should hope I deserve punishment for times I have without truly knowing.”

“Plans for a later time.” she says, her grim smile knowing. “Chouji?”

Chouji is quiet as he says “Are you going to be good to her? Will you be honest, and tactful, and-“ he swallows his nervous energy and spits it out all at once, his voice rife with how little he wants to ask this. “faithful?”

“He doesn’t have to be faithful.” Ino says, her voice soft but pointed. “We’ve already dug that grave.”

“Hey...” Neji starts, narrowing his eyes. 

“Hey _hey_ , technically he’s the adulterer here.” Shikamaru says, not missing a _beat_. Smoke rolls from between his lips. “Being the other woman only makes you partial to the infidelity.”

“Shikamaru!” Ino scolds. He shrugs back in wayward apology and grinds his cigarette out in the ashtray. “This is mortifying.” she stands up, all uncomfortable limbs and an underlying shiver, to join Shikamaru at the balcony. “Stop being such an ass.”

Shikamaru wraps his arm around Ino’s waist and they look out over the city, her nails digging into the bare skin of his arm. 

“I’ll be faithful, and honest, and tactful,” Neji says in response, eyeing the comfortable scene of Shikamaru and Ino. It doesn’t escape him that they’re each other’s perfect match - nothing can top the ease of InoShikaCho. It feels a little like doom. “Though I have to wonder why tact of all things is so important ... the Hyuugs vows promise protection and dedication.”

“Tact means don’t embarrass us. Joining one of us means joining all of us.” Ino says, looking over her shoulder.  “Dedication doesn’t mean anything if you spill our secrets. We’re bound by it.”

“The Hyuuga laws brand you. Ours entrap us within each other. Not so surprising when you get down to it.” Chouji has the nerve to shrug. It’s no secret he adores his teammates. Neji has seen him lay down his life for them before. 

Maybe that will change as we enter this new era,” Ino remarks, her brain ticking in her head. Cast far into future possibilities, surely. "The Akimichi have always been a great clan, but it still falls to Shikamaru and I to uphold Chouji... and ourselves. No more Uchihas, with Sasuke on the run… Uzumaki all but gone. Everything thinning out.”

“You’ll have to carry your weight,” Shikamaru bites. 

“You’ll have to wonder who will take the places of the Uchihas.” She replies. Her voice goes flat. 

“Ino, let’s not...”

“You really think Sasuke Uchiha can make me shed a tear? After everything?”

“No. I just — I don’t like talking about him,” Chouji says, squirming. “It’s a new era. Like you said.”

The darkness that falls over the room does not escape Neji’s attention. Remembering Sasuke’s escape weights heavily on them all - from those who witnessed it to those forbidden from it. Ino’s bitterness at being barred from the retrieval mission still stings.

“At least protection is assured."

Ino starts, as if shocked from a stupor. Shikamaru’s grasp around her tightens, protective. Neji holds back a derisive snort at the act. No secret to him how tenuous any grasp on Ino is. It occurs to him that she once told him, voice soft under the cover of darkness, that Shikamaru Nara was her first kiss. A child’s thing, a quick dismissal — too _troublesome_ , not the road for either of them. 

He can’t blame Nara for his less-than-stellar outlook on the situation. This is more trouble than he could’ve ever dreamed of for Ino. That first kiss must seem much less damning. 

He has to wonder how much of his fairytale will stay the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damn this one is long, sort of sorry, not rly because i loved writing it. working on ch 7 now, been a bit of a whiplash moment... lemme know what you think ~


	7. vii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a wake-up call like freezing cold water, like the realization that paradise was always a fiction. reality settles in.

_He remembers on his way back home that he still has Ino's panties tucked away in his bag, and the faintest glow of an embarrassed flush shows on his cheeks. What to do? he wonders for the briefest of moments, until he remembers that they're a matching set, and teasing gestures aside she probably wants them back._

 

_It's the dead of night when he arrives back, the lights in the civilian houses long since extinguished. The light outside of the flower shop is on, as always, and he casts a huge shadow as he passes by, looping around towards the back entrance that leads upstairs to the apartment, where Ino lives alone. It's still inside, the only sounds the errant hum of a clock ticking. There are flowers beginning to wither by the windowsill, and with a fond smile he pulls them from the vase, cutting the ends with a kunai, replacing the water and dribbling plant food in. She's working overnight, he knows, either in the hospital or with Ibiki, and won't be home until the crack of dawn. He puts her underwear on her bed, glad to be rid of them and the creeping feeling of perversion he felt carrying them around. His tie is hung up by the mirror by her crown of ivy and he takes it back with a wavering hand. He writes her a note and then retraces his steps, continuing on his way towards some semblance of home._

_He sinks into an easy sleep, pressed close to Tenten._

 

* * *

* * *

 

  

 

  

 

Neji wakes up alone the next day. His hotel is near the outer rim of the city, perpetually shaded by the bigger buildings surrounding it. He feels cold as he gestures instinctively for a figure beside him. 

There’s a note under the door, written in official script. He gets out of bed and swipes it up, rolling his muscles tenderly as he reads:

_Neji Hyuuga,_

_You are cordially invited todinner this evening with the Kazekage, his family, and his ambassadors. Please arrive by 6:15 for pre-dinner courtesies, as dinner will be served at 6:30. If you have not arrived by 6:30, we will assume you have chosen not to attend. _

_We are pleased to welcome you back to our fair city. Please let us know if we can make your visit any more comfortable._

Concluded with the signature of Gaara’s assistant, yet he considers not going at all. Temari is a dear friend of Tenten’s, and whip smart nonetheless. She’ll know immediately if something is awry, if she doesn’t know already. He releases an anguished sigh. Deeper and deeper into the hole he’s dug. 

 He allows himself to sleep - a perk of vacation forced upon himself - and so in the time it takes him to brush his hair, change, and prepare for the day, it feels like time is trickling by. He opens the door to the balcony and sits, looking out over the city as it rises and the day begins. 

A knock on the door. He knows it’s Ino, though her intentions remain unclear, if predictable.

 “Morning, Ino.”

 “Morning? It’s got to be at least noon. I’ve been awake since 8am!”

 He hazards a glance at the clock. Incorrect, but it’s certainly later than he expected. “Why is that?”

 “Meeting with Kankuro. We’re working on new trade regulations. Lunch? Or I suppose breakfast, if it’s truly the morning to you. Did you get an invitation to dinner, by the way? Kankuro asked me himself but he said you and Chouji would get written invitations. I want to make sure you know you’re invited!”

 “So this is your doing?” His face darkens. “Of all the places to avoid, the table of the Kazekage is one - you know Temari is a dear friend to Tenten. I can hardly agree to show my face having done what I’ve done.”

“ _My_ doing? Do you really consider your inclusion to be ill-advised? It’s dinner. It would be suspicious if I insisted you have no part of it.”

 “It’s akin to something ill-advised. It’s naïve, Ino.”

 “Naïve. I see. You think I’d traipse in with you on my arm, a silly little girl tripping over your prestige.” she scowls. A flash in her eyes warns of deeper concern. “That’s cowardly.”

“I can’t risk her knowing.”

“I’m not saying anyone needs to know, but they’ll find out eventually. So think about it. Now are you coming to lunch, or was that proposal ignorant as well?”

“Ino.”

She turns her nose up, and he sighs. His hair adrift in the dry breeze, he steps from his room and takes her arm in his.

* * *

Ino talks him into dinner, because in the end, he hates cowardly actions. He hates looking at himself in the mirror, his steel gaze a reminder that fear is honed on sharp blades, and begs a fight. 

 So he shows up. 6:07, prompt and bright, and finds Shikamaru waiting outside, uncomfortable in his formalwear but tolerant in a way only he can be. Holding four pink flowers, and tapping his foot, and looking annoyed. 

 “Evening.”

 “Hyuuga. What a surprise you’re joining us.”

 “I strongly considered bowing out.”

 “Last minute decision?”

 “Ino called me a coward.” 

“Ah,” Shikamaru sighs, slanting his eyes Neji’s way. His wry smile is almost insulting, but Neji has to commend him for how blasé he’s been. Braver, perhaps, than most, or maybe just finally fed up with all the trouble.  “Classic Ino. Still no change there. Elsewhere, sure, but she’ll always get her way somehow. Troublesome.” 

“Troublesome is correct. And I’m sure she’ll be as late as ever.” Neji hums, glancing around. “As late as one can be this early.”

“More likely Chouji than her,” Shikamaru says with a shrug. “That’s at least changed a little.”

Like clockwork the two of them arrive, Ino in a mock jacard mint cocktail dress that just skims her knees, and Chouji with his pressed dress shirt still untucked under his jacket, matching tie loose and a bit out of sorts. Chouji smooths his hair down and appraises the other two men. “Acceptable?”

 “Chouji don’t _look at them,_ I told you formal doesn’t always mean tucking your shirt in.” She scolds. After a taciturn glance aside she fixes Chouji with her steely glare. “You look great. Neji looks great.  Shikamaru, dare I say it, looks great.”

 “Don’t make me blush,” he drawls, glancing down at his watch. “Nearly. We should get inside.”

 “You three get acquainted, I’ll be right behind you.” Fear aside, caution is still all too present, flattening the racing of his mind to a hairline paranoia. No sense entering all at once. He almost expects Ino to look disappointed, but she barely chances a second glance. 

 “Don’t take too long! Temari’s punctual.” Chouji says. Shikamaru nods, vague in the way he glances away and bumps Ino’s shoulder with his. 

 Chouji extends an arm to Ino, and the three of them enter the Kazekage building, climbing up the spiral stairs to the personal quarters and disappearing. Watching them is dizzying, or it would be if Neji were still capable of dizziness. He waits for the sounds of exclamation upstairs, and boils in his own overactivity. 

 InoShikaCho enters the foyer of the sand siblings, arm in steadfast arm, to middling acclaim.  Temari awaits, and she takes them all in her arms one after another despite how tense she is with such things, embracing Chouji first and thanking him for his punctuality as she steps back, eagerly looking Ino up and down. “What, are you going somewhereafterthis?” Temari asks, incredulous as she leans her weight into Shikamaru, and Ino giggles, stepping out into a full twirl.  She comes to a stop and finds herself caught in the sights of Kankuro, face mostly devoid of paint. There’s a faint streak right by his ear, a flashy purple. 

“Kankuro,” she breathes, an easy smile coming over her face. “It’s so good to see you again!” 

“Ino Yamanaka, that _dress_. It almost outshines you, and that’s simply impossible.” 

Shikamaru’s arm, looped haphazardly around Temari’s waist, tightens ever so slightly as Kankuro extends a hand to spin Ino around again. Pointedly, he presses the flowers into her hands, and Temari looks down at them as if they surprise her. 

“Thank you, Shikamaru.”

“Has everyone arrived?” A voice calls from the kitchen. Temari breaks from Shikamaru’s side to glance around, and hums a low negative. 

“Just one more!” Kankuro shouts back. He holds Ino’s hand high in his, fervently against taking his eyes off of her. 

Neji walks in then, tie knotted and his back ramrod straight. “I hope I’m not holding you up.” he says in passive greeting, extending a  blank smile to the room. “I’m quite honored to be invited into your home, Temari.”

“Its a privilege long overdue, I think,” she replies, a smile crinkling the corners of her eyes. “My only regret is that Tenten couldn’t join you.”

 “A regret we share. I hope after we will still be welcome.” 

 Ino’s stare burns him, a furious sort of disdain that reminds him he ought to keep cool, in more ways than one. Temari’s brow furrows. In between a rock and a hard place, Shikamaru opts to avoid both and instead swings towards Chouji, who peers around as he takes in the decor. 

“After?”

 “After the child. Tenten may choose not to travel for quite a while. She was adamant about staying in the village for the duration of her pregnancy.” A weak salvage. Not a mistruth he feels good delivering, and a truth he knows needs to be disproven gently. No luck, and little remorse. 

“Well?” the voice asks again.

“Gaara, just come out here!” Temari calls, drifting towards the entry. “Everyone’s here now, unless you invited someone last minute.”

“Mmm, no.” Gaara mumbles back. "Would you get the wine? Or should everyone come in here?”

“Is dinner almost done?” 

Gaara nods and Temari turns back to address their guests. “Dinner is almost ready. We can have wine while we wait. Kankuro, glasses?”

“They’re above the oven,” he says with a smile, and Temari’s eyes narrow. “No, no, I know what you mean. Right this way,” he says with a lackadaisical wave. Chouji refocuses on his hosts and smiles, following Kankuro. Ino and Shikamaru trail behind, and Neji watches, this not so ubiquitous ragtag group that he’s surveilling. An overstep, but it’s far too late to turn back. 

“What’ll we be having?” he asks, entrance delayed. “Red or white?”

“The dryest white I could find, I was thinking.” Temari shrugs, corkscrew in hand. “There’s some merlot around here too, if that’s more your preference.” Kankuro pulls glasses down and lines them up in front of his sister. 

 Ino snoops around the bottles of wine on the counter, inspecting years and flavors. “Some of these drive a hard bargain,” she says under her breath. Chouji crouches down beside her, inquisitive.

“Yeah, what would you recommend. oh mighty florist?” Kankuro teases, darting around her other side. “You know everything about wine, right?”

“Hah, not even. Knowing plants doesn’t make me an expert. I know a lot about grape varieties, and the variances between crops from year to year. Educated predictions...” she says, trailing off as she glances over her shoulder at the quiet room. Silently, she stands, and nonplussed, Temari wiggles the cork out with a demanding pop. 

Her victorious smirk turns the tips of Shikamaru’s ears pink. Chouji glances up at Ino and then grabs a bottle, inspecting it. “Gaara, would a red be good with dinner?” 

Gaara shrugs. “It’d have to be crisp. Nothing that lingers, wouldn’t want to ruin the palate. You’ll see. It’ll be done soon.”

 Temari hands out glasses, turning to Neji first as if sensing his discomfort. “Help me out with these, Hyuuga?”

“Certainly,” he answers, taking a glass in each hand. Shallow but still weighty, quite familiar. He hands a glass to Chouji and then reaches around Ino - already laden by Temari - to hand Kankuro a glass. Temari’s fingers hesitate as she pushes the glass of wine into Shikamaru’s hands. Much to discuss, perhaps, or maybe more secrets. He pushes one glass towards Gaara then takes the two remaining glasses in his hands, supplying Temari with one.  

“Cheers,” she says, clinking her glass with his. That first sip after all formalities is yet the most bitter.

* * *

Gaara calls dinner, and with empty glasses, loaded trays, and another bottle of wine in hand they trickle into the dining room, Gaara next to Neji who sits next to Chouji who sits next to Kankurō who makes a beeline for Ino and in turn Shikamaru, led by Temari who seats herself between him and Gaara. 

 A lull in conversation as they serve each other, and then, finally—

 “So Neji, how long are you here for? We never got a message regarding your visit.”

 “Another week. I haven’t come for any sort of mission, I simply thought I would like a change of scenery prior to becoming a father, and I’ve heard good things about the outer countryside.”

 Temari looks unamused, but then again, it’s hard to maintain amusement with the charade going on besides. 

 “How long until that now? Two months?” 

“Closer to just one. Will you be coming for the birth?”

“I should hope so. A shame Tenten never found time to take her own little vacation.” 

“I wish she would have.”

Kankuro rests his hand on Ino’s knee as she pours a glass of wine, and Shikamaru glares from the corner of his eye, nudging his glass towards Ino. Tension plausible enough to taste. A catastrophe just lurking in the shadows.  

“Ino, would you pour mine as well?” he asks to fill the silence. She sighs dramatically and gestures for everyone to pass their glasses her way. 

 “May as well pour for everybody, if I must,” she says with her nose turned up. A smile tugs at her lips. Shikamaru’s smile back is forced, but genuine enough - though Neji doesn’t miss the slightest glance of reproach in Chouji’s glance. 

 “Thank you,” Neji says as Ino fills his glass up. and she nods in response, still avoiding direct contact. The table goes silent as Gaara begins to eat, only for the briefest moment until he looks up and asks, fork poised at the corner of his lips, “Are we allowed to discuss the status of your mission?”

 Chouji straightens up. “That’s forward. Are we?”

 Ino shrugs. “Don’t see why not. If you two don’t mind...”

 Shikamaru groans, which prompts an amused smile from Temari. Her glance towards him is almost endeared. “Sure I don’t.” she says. 

 “We’re considering distance to be the best approach. Neither village wants to allow the other to have the two of you, right?  So maybe you two need to maintain your separation. Live apart for — what number were we going to suggest?”

 “Three weeks out of every four.” Chouji supplies. “Swapping villages every month. Shikamaru goes to Suna one month, Temari comes to Konoha the next. You two can train your successors and eventually retire together.” It’s a simplification but Temari mulls it over like it’s an immediacy, hands steepled together in thought.

Kankuro grins and under the table tightens his grasp on Ino’s knee. “Seems kind of brilliant to me, though I’d say I’m biased.” he says with a beaming grin directed towards Ino. His other hand twiddles with his fork, toying with his food. 

 “It’s quite modern,” Neji chokes out. Maybe it’s the mere thought of impending marriage, but it doesn’t sit well with him. His shoulders tense. Ino shoots him a look, a plea or a scold burning in her blue eyes. 

Gaara nods in agreement, a silent conversation rising between him and his sister. 

“It needs work,” Shikamaru interjects, the defeat in his voice masking a waning tolerance. Chouji slants his eyes toward his friend.  

“We’ll get it right.” Chouji says as silence settles upon them again, and as his words ring around the room he turns to his food again. Kankuro’s hand finally rises to level with the table, and imperceptibly Ino relaxes. 

* * *

Neji attempts to excuse himself after dinner, still a little drunk but not enough to temper the growing discomfort manifesting. Shikamaru rummages in his breast pocket for a cigarette, and smiles to himself when he comes up victorious. “Going for a cigarette,” he announces.  

“Perhaps I should be going myself,” Neji demurs, following behind Shikamaru. 

 "Leaving already? Nonsense,” Kankuro pronounces, diverting Neji from the foyer to the library. “Dessert isn’t even ready yet, and we’re making my favorite.”

 Chouji’s eyes light up. “Oh _good_! I’m going to see if Temari wants help.” he says with a wink, and an exasperated sigh from Ino that he beams at. 

 Ino finds herself between two opposing forces: the man she dreads to love with a fervor she’s never been able to quiet besides — and a diplomatic game, quietness for the sake of quietness, engorged into something else. 

She sets her eyes upon the stars outside and says,

“—I think I’d like some fresh air.”

“I’ll escort you,” Kankuro says just as Neji extends a hand towards her. As the two appraise each other, mutual confusion and muted disdain, she drifts between them and towards the door. Down and around the staircase and out on the adjacent lower balcony, where Shikamaru lingers. 

“Finally snapped?” he asks, rapping his jagged nails on the metal railing.  

“Chouji went into the kitchen to help Temari and left me with Neji and Kankuro... if I didn’t know any better it would be cruel.” 

“Eh, don’t begrudge him his fun.” 

“No, I know...” she slumps a bit as she leans against the railing and glances up at the sky. “How long has it been since we were here last? Six months?” 

“Yeah, something like that.” he replies with a  shrug.  

“So much has changed. I feel so unprepared suddenly. Overwhelmed.” 

“Imagine how I feel, having to marry into that. At least Hyuuga isn’t forcing you to it now. Longer I wait, more I feel like Lady Tsunade’s going to excommunicate me for it...”

“He may have to. Tenten will go into labor in a matter of weeks... if their child doesn’t have his eyes, I’m out of the running, but what are the chances of that happening? If the family wants me, the whole village will demand it.” she shivers and a big, forced exhale heaves from her, all her pent up nerves shaking out. “If we can live with the lie.” 

She doesn’t expect Shikamaru to laugh. It also doesn’t surprise her. 

“You’ve been living half truths your whole career. You can live with it. Question is, can he?” the air, bereft of tobacco smoke, sinks into her skin like a sudden revelation. “Does he even know what you really do? Not shifts at the hospital. The truth of what you do for Konoha.”

“He knows I work with Ibiki. I’ve never told him much else.” she admits, not ready to admit defeat but certainly aware of the possibility. “He’s probably figured it out, all the odd hours, disappearing for a week and then staying for two... my condition.”

“Is he ever around long enough to notice you’re not around?” 

She shrugs. “He’s smart. Maybe it’s an easy thing to deduce.”

“Nobody expects it from _you_ , Ino. That’s the point.” 

Tsunade’s words ring out then, spoken to both of them — the appointed positions given to them both, dual strategists and assassins. Ino’s work in Torture and Interrogation masks a depth put forth by Shikamaru. _You’ve helped each other thing far, and you have the support of Akimichi. Don’t hesitate to do what must be done for the good of the world._

“Maybe we shouldn’t discuss this here,” she finally says after a long, tenuous pause, her breath choked up inside. “We should go back upstairs.”

 “Just don’t snap at anybody.”

 “Shikamaru, I don’t _snap_ at anybody!” 

“You just snapped at me.”

 She groans, thoroughly fed up. He can see the way the night wears on her, all her confidence shrinking as her anxieties steep. He inhales a choppy breath of air. “Alright, alright. Stay down here for a bit. I’ll go back up... let them know I didn’t see you. Maybe Chouji will come find you.”

 “If he can stomach separating himself from dessert.” she jokes, scanning the building for lingering presence. “My luck, it’ll be Kankuro, and he’s not exactly been on his best behavior... More dramatics to defuse.”

 “It’s not a dinner party unless someone’s fighting over you. Clearly.” He waves his fingers in a tepid attempt at a farewell, and drifts through the doorway to find his way back upstairs. 

The breeze turns hot, but she doesn’t shiver. The warmth is enough to feel seen in. It’s a sign enough. 

 Shikamaru reenters the fray as if he never left. He loops through the kitchen and finds a place at Temari’s side, watching her and Chouji banter over portion sizes. 

 “Chouji, of course you can have as much as you want, but I don’t think everybody needs the same amount. I’ll just forgo a portion for Ino. She’s on a diet, right?”

 Chouji shrugs, admitting “I can never keep up.”

 “Ask her yourself,” Shikamaru says as Temari’s imploring gaze finds him. 

 She rolls her eyes. “You’re both useless. Ino?” Temari calls out, placing her hands on the counter. “Will you be having dessert?”

Kankuro is the first to respond. “She’s not up here. Ran out to get some fresh air— Did you see her?” he asks Shikamaru pointedly. “She must’ve been right behind you.”

He shakes his head. “Nah.”

 Chouji hums, curious, and turns back to the counter. “She’ll be around. Probably got lost, or- Do you have gardens here? I’ve never seen them.”

 “They’re awfully maintained, but yes, we have a garden,” Gaara muses. “I should hope she doesn’t find them, then we’d really have something to be ashamed of.”

 Chouji laughs, an affectionate smile gracing his features. “She’d never let you live it down.”

 “She’d fix it herself, not that she has the time to... Why do I get the feeling she’s there now?”

 “She’d make us help her, do it faster... it’ll be winter when we’re next here, right? We can’t plant in winter.” 

 The relieved exhale they share sends Kankuro into a hysterical fit. Laughter shakes his whole body. “You two are so chicken-shit. I’ll go find her—“

 “No need,” Neji announces from the foyer. “I’ll go.”

 “Hey, Hyuuga, what’d I say about running off?”

 “Running off seems to be a theme beyond me. Air would be nice, and if I can locate Yamanaka in the process, even better.”

 “We’ll go together,” Kankuro announces, and behind him Temari narrows her eyes, distrust and latent curiosity rising. Why the diversion from Kankuro, heavy-handed as his mooning may be? She never took Neji to be a nostalgic sort, yet Ino has always brought out the savior in every man to cross her path. 

 Her expression turns sour, and Shikamaru settles his fingers in her wrist. “You know your face could get stuck like that,” he comments, and she sighs, glancing over at him. 

 “Just tell me if I should set aside a portion of dessert for her.”

 “May as well. You never know with her.”

* * *

Kankuro trails behind Neji as the two descend downstairs, mutually tense in their shared, stifled desire to locate Ino.  

They find her on her way back up, and Neji nearly walks into her as she drifts around a corner - but, with his Byakugan active, he sidesteps and takes her gently by the arm.  

“You had us worried, Yamanaka.”

“That’s an exaggeration,” Kankuro supplies, a little nervous. He steps into her space, tentatively looking her over. “Are you feeling alright? You know, if you need to rest, you’re welcome to use my room.” 

She shrugs her arm from Neji’s grasp and takes a step back, on edge as she looks between the two of them. “I was just stretching my legs. No need for the cavalry to come to my aid this time,” she teases. 

“Can you blame me for wanting to be your white knight?” Kankuro asks in response, and Neji cringes, an internal disdain manifested in a single physical spasm, his fingers clenching into a fist.

 Not missing a beat, Ino takes a step closer to Kankuro and, with a hand coming up to rest on his shoulder, says, “Is this your interpretation of _actions speak louder than words?_ I think you’re missing the mark a little.” Over his shoulder, she spares a searing glare towards Neji, her other hand clenching into a fist and releasing, a warning he immediately resents her for.  In the wake of Kankuro’s silent, albeit brief stun, she looks between the two and says, “Thank you so much for coming to find me. I’m sorry to make anyone worry. Neji, accompany me up?”

He loosens his fingers from his own tense grip and extends a hand to her, leading her away. She tightly grasps his hand and whispers “Weren’t you the one chastising me in fear of discovery? I thought your mistrust was directed towards me. I see now it’s your own emotions you still can’t control,” and he sucks in an exasperated breath, fed up with her smart mouth and the way she feeds on this chaotic energy. 

“I told you this was ill-advised. You didn’t listen. You didn’t tell me I’d need to watch someone else fawn over you.” 

“I thought you knew. I assumed Tenten would have something tart to say about it, anyway. She’s never approved of our presumed romance, far as I can tell.”

His frustrated groan says enough. They exit the stairway and drop each other’s hands, reentering the foyer with uniform distance between them, and separating as Temari beckons Ino closer. Neji drifts back to the library, and watched the entryway as Gaara makes small talk about Lee’s wellbeing. A flustered Kankuro reenters his home and makes a beeline for the upstairs, disappearing in a cloud with little pomp. 

From the kitchen, “ _Chouji!_ Of _course_ you’d scheme to steal my portion, you monster! Today’s a cheat day,” and he can feel the affronted upturn of her nose from three rooms away. 

In relief, Temari shouts “Dessert!” into the vastness of her home.

* * *

Later, when it is finally acceptable to excuse himself, Neji departs in a much more sober state, emboldened only by his own lingering bitterness. The ruse of locating his hotel in hand, Chouji says his illustrious goodbyes and offers to accompany him, citing the proximity of their accommodations, and that of course brings Ino along - thoroughly apologetic in her denial of Kankuro’s offer, with a revulsion deepened by Shikamaru’s own acquiescence to Temari. 

 “So Ino, took a little break at dinner?” Chouji teases, tossing his jacket over her shoulders. 

 She pulls it closer around her and scowls. “I just wanted a moment to myself. Sorry I’m not poisoning my body like Shikamaru is just to achieve the same effect.” she replies with a scowl and a very pointed tug of the jacket around herself. 

 “How is it that you can detest the attention you so readily accept?” Neji breaks in, and Chouji sucks in a quick breath, exhaling _wrong question_ , whilst Ino, surprisingly calm, bites out “How is it that you’re still so arrogant despite multiple warnings?” 

“Because I’m sure of myself. You can’t seem to stop questioning the ethics of your actions, though I’m beginning to doubt if you even understand them.”

“You complete ass!” 

Chouji glances between the two of them, both steaming, and a small worry sinks his eyebrows down. “Not to interject, but we’re here.”

Only just around the corner and down a few blocks, much closer than Neji expected despite knowing precisely how far away he’d been the whole night. 

Chouji holds the door open for them, leaning affectionately into Ino’s overdone caress as she states “I’m glad one of you still enjoys being a gentleman,” and making amused eye contact with Neji as he enters behind her. They step into the elevator, increasingly aware of their joined presence, and their visible relaxation as the doors close eases some of the tension in their breath. Chouji steps closer to Ino and reaches into the pocket of his jacket to retrieve his key.  

“Ino, you got yours, right?”

She taps her bag with one hand and a soft smile, and Chouji nods his exit as the doors open. “Don’t do anything too stupid,” he says in retreat, and Ino rolls her eyes like the aged professional she’s always been.  

Curiosity gets the best of him in their shared attempts to remain unphased. He jabs the button for his floor. “Coming up?”  

“Well it seems you have a lot to teach me about my personal code of ethics,” she says in response, an eyebrow arching up in suggestion. The doors close and they ascend for a brief time. “Maybe that’ll cool your head.”  

“I resent the suggestion that my head could be anything other than _cool_ ,” the mocking in his tone noted. Ino flits through the gap as the doors open, and he follows, a step behind, preoccupied fetching his room key from his pockets. 

 She stops in front of his door and he nudges her aside with a terse _excuse me_ , eyes flashing as he scans the hallway for any onlookers. Key in lock, he ushers her inside and bolts the door behind them. The official step into hotly forbidden territory sparks his blood with the sort of fear he could’ve used all those months ago in the flower shop. 

“Ino,” he warns, watching her ostentatious manner in shedding Chouji’s jacket and placing it over the back of the closest armchair. “Tread carefully.” 

“You don’t have to remind me,” she replies, stepping in closer as he steadies himself. Her hands go to his tie, threading the silk between her fingers, and he watches with baited breath for her next move. Like watching a bird in slow motion, knowing it’s set to collide with another.  

She presses her lips against his and it’s like reality snaps back into motion - the resurgence of their own pocket dimension, all the vileness they can’t get rid of handed off by one another, all the resentment brewing in their torn up hearts.  

They used to love each other. Maybe this is still love, all bent up by their pride. Timewarped, isn’t that the word? Her bitterness at being tied up in this finally reaching the surface.  

“Ino,” he whispers, hoarse. Longing, so stupidly open with his remorse. The guilt of wanting her has long since faded but rarely does such knowledge extend to the future, something he’s never been much bothered for until recently. “It’s not right.” 

“It’s never been right,” she says back, breathless against his lips, anxious in the way she unbuttons his clothing. Like she’s trying to get something over with - like she’s trying to remember, piece out their habits from the blur she claims is her memory. Too many things that are more important, she tells him tartly every time, than the way he prefers she touch him, or the way she uses her tongue on him. 

She drops to her knees, his belt tossed to the side, and unzips his pants.  “Isn’t that the point of ethics? No such thing as right or wrong.” 

He dips his head back, hands on her shoulders, a low groan squeaking out of him.  “Ethics isn’t fair either, I see you’re taking a liking to that concept.”

“Am I being unfair?” she asks, sugary sweet.  Her eyes glaze over. 

 He doesn’t deign her with an answer as she takes him in her mouth. It’s answer enough, the way she properly cares for him, all mutable desire and the way he collapses under her, it’s almost endearing. 

Almost. 

It’s the way he pushes into her, gently, worried about upsetting her, not taking more than she presents, and how he’s always treated her like porcelain. So much care, with so little emotion.  

A conciliatory hum, like an encouragement, and he moans, egging her on. That much he knows, well aware that she likes knowing the effect of what she’s doing.  

It’s a menial task, one she does for love and vaguely in apology for her own misgivings.  

It’s still another record of completion as he brushes his thumb across her cheekbone and whispers “Ino, please,” more to the gods than to her.  

Ino wipes her mouth off painstakingly slowly. It’s not a bother to her particularly - nothing too out of the ordinary, besides all that’s out of the ordinary with them. The trickle at the corner of her mouth disappears into his handkerchief, and in turn it disappears into her pocket. He pulls her to bed so lovingly, redevoted to her, promises flowering at his lips. 

She wants to tell him, in that moment. Reveal to him how recent her last kill was, not for the sake of the gruesome details but to see if he really could guess how far she’s come for the sake of others. How wiping his cum from her lips feels only half as intimate now that she’s become numb to such carnal acts. Such a hassle to pull herself out of it. Sworn to secrecy, she could never tell. It’s simply not allowed.  

So she falls into bed, and let’s him busy himself between her legs, fingers marvelous at their task. For a moment she doesn’t think at all, and it settles in that that must be the blessing of their age - the inability to recall at such moments, and drift in the edgeless expanse of the pleasure/pain threshold.  

She can only doze after, after he coaxes two orgasms out of her and nods off with his cock softening against her open legs, chin tucked into the crook of her shoulder, leaning closer to her. Her retreat, in comparison, is downright scandalous, or rather, she feels only the slightest provocations of guilt as she extracts herself from him, eager to outrun dawn in the vast sundial of Suna.

She exits his room like they’ve just finished a meeting, not a hair out of place, her dress still sitting perfectly on her hips. Barely a run in her stockings as she swishes down the hall to the stairs. Her heels echo in the stone pillar. Her key is silent in the door. She takes her shoes off at the threshold, wary of waking Chouji until the echo fades. She hangs his jacket on the rack by and pads to the bathroom, turning the faucet on to gushing levels. Her makeup she scrubs off, tired of the weight of it on her face, mocking her with flesh memory. Chouji snores. Just a single, deep roar, punctuated by a padded sound as he shifts in bed, tucking one way and then the next, reaching out as he veers closer to the middle. She shuts the water off and listens for anything other than his impeccably predictable breathing. Nothing. She sheds her dress down to her basest undergarments. 

To his credit, he barely rises as she tucks into bed beside him. Breath synchronizing with his, he tucks an arm around the shape of her and she falls asleep, locked away in the remnants of ectopic memory.  

He wakes before her, a lucky thing - the fridge is still adequately stocked with the things Gaara thought they might need, and so Ino wakes up to Chouji cooking his best approximation of his mother’s breakfast. 

Eggs in bed. The windows in the kitchen are open, a light breeze casting the smoke out as he cooks up thick strips of bacon, humming a tune as he goes. He places a plate on the bedside table, the eggs garnished with little fried potatoes, and says “order up!”

Still on her back, Ino peers up over the blankets and wriggles to a more upright position, still clutching the blanket tight. It strikes her that the aching feeling in her chest isn’t nostalgia. It’s longing - the realization that she wants to live like this for as long as she can, with breakfast in bed and syncopated heart rates.  

“Oh, Chouji!”

 “Bacon too! If you want. Eventually.” His frown is audible. 

 She nods in response and stabs at her food, toes curling under the covers. Akimichi breakfast is a lucky thing, and a hardy skill never passed over in the family line. All that’s missing is Shikamaru. A familiar burden settles upon her with the realization that he must still be in the Kazekage compound, with Temari, most likely getting himself into more of a mess. Most likely avoiding the conversation he’s never quite ready to have with anyone. 

 That makes two, the burden reminds her. 

 She gets out of bed for tea. A steaming cup is no less than what she deserves, and although it nearly burns her tongue, that first sip from Chouji’s already full cup singes away the taste of last night. As her own cools, Chouji shoos her away. “Breakfast in bed! C’mon. I’ll bring you bacon in a second. Let me work.” Again she slips away, back under the linen blankets, but not before she opens the window to watch the morning rise.

Chouji whistles an off-kilter tune, something like what her mother used to play when she worked in the garden, as he patiently waits for the bacon to cook on the flip side. A cutting board to his right covered with a small stack of apples waits, and after a long moment staring the bacon down for its thoroughly insubordinate cooking time, he begins to chop up the fruit, sliding the diced pieces into a bowl of lemon juice and sugar, to prevent browning. Something so soothing about the pocket of the day, sun high in the morning sky but nothing rushing them besides themselves. At the fervent pop of the oil, he redirects his attention and quickly foists the bacon from the skillet to a plate to drain and cool.

 Like a broken clock, Shikamaru returns, dressed in clothing much more casual than before. Thoroughly in the mood to start his day exhausted, and even more willing to pilfer the barely cooling strips of bacon as he greets Chouji.  

“You’ll never guess what Ino did last night,” Chouji gossips, slapping Shikamaru’s hand away from the plate. 

 “I don’t want to.” he manages around a mouthful of bacon. In his other hand he holds a haphazard attempt at a package that clearly contains last night’s formal wear. 

 “Too bad! Take two strips of that and some fruit into her?”

 “Breakfast in bed?”

 Chouji grins in response. “Precisely.”

 Shikamaru rolls his eyes as he passes Chouji and enters the bedroom, where Ino is still staring out the window, and slowly eating. “Gimme your plate.” 

 She looks over to him and smiles, handing her plate over without complaint. “Good morning.”

 “Yeah yeah, good morning. What’d you do last night?”

 “None of your business,” she sneers. 

 Another eye roll, and he retraces his steps. “Ino says it isn’t my business.” Two strips, and two spoonfuls of fruit, served onto the empty side of her plate. 

 “How very coy. Kind of feels like the old Ino’s back.” Chouji quips as he piles a plate high with food and shoves it into his friend’s other hand. “Go eat.”

 “Kind of feels like she never left,” Shikamaru snaps, turning over his shoulder and heading back into the room. He serves Ino her breakfast unceremoniously and places his own on the farthest bedside table. 

 What did _you_ do last night?” Ino asks, not coy with her assumptions. “You look like Temari dressed you.”

 “That’s definitely none of your business,” he replies as he strips down to his underwear. He tosses the shirt and shorts towards the laundry basket, and meets Ino’s perturbed stare head on. “What? It’s breakfast in bed.”

 She rolls her eyes. “Get in already.”

 Shikamaru glances down at himself and it registers that the scratches across his pelvis should warrant some embarrassment. He shrugs instead and mumbles something incoherent as he gets in beside her, his food barely within reach as he scoots in to make room for Chouji. She leans her head on his shoulder, a strained sort of physical comfort, and they eat in silence, listening to Chouji troubleshoot carrying two mugs of tea and his own food in.

 He manages, the handles gripped in one hand, and looks both frazzled and terribly pleased as he hands one mug off to Shikamaru. Already in his pajamas, he leaps into bed and makes himself comfortable beside Shikamaru. The three of them eat in contented space, not exactly silent but not tripping over their own conversation. Their tea cools between their legs, small red spots the only indicator that they’re balancing burning hot liquid between them.

“So I can’t tell - are you both backsliding, or embracing the inevitable?”

"Chouji,” Shikamaru groans. Ino sighs, discomfort making its way into their bed.

 “No! C’mon, I’m trying to get this. It’s been bothering me. You’re both doing things - for the sake of something bigger than you. Konoha needs an alliance. Hyuuga’s want a suitable bride for Neji.” He looks between the two of them as he digs his teeth into a strip of bacon.

 “Yeah, sure. Whatever.” Shikamaru shovels fruit into his mouth, chewing with his mouth open as he gestures vaguely and indecipherably.

 “We’re not without autonomy,” Ino replies, already defensive. “Shikamaru can say no. He’s valuable enough to this village. We can find a reason to not let him go. I could turn the Hyuuga's down, if I really wanted to. I could take Shikamaru’s place.”

 “You don’t want that. You’d never let Kankuro share your bed,” Shikamaru scoffs. Ino’s glare as she stabs a potato rolls right off his back.

 In the same moment, a flash of sympathy coloring his face, Chouji rests a hand on Ino’s covered knee and asks, “What do you want?"

 “To tell the truth. And yet I don’t. Vapid girl with little to contribute, that’s what our whole world sees me as, right?” she nibbles on a piece of bacon, the last thing on her plate.

 “Something like that,” Shikamaru grumbles around his last mouthful of egg. He yelps as Chouji elbows him, and sighs as he gestures for Ino to go on.

 “No, Shika's right. I’m good that way. Just a piece of meat to the elders, that’s what I’m supposed to be. It’s that, Neji adores me, but I’m afraid to tell him who I really am. Maybe it wouldn’t be a big deal to him. Maybe it would be. But I can never tell him, or anyone outside of this room.”

 “And the guilt is just kiiiiiilling you, right?”

 “Of course it is! Tenten should be—“ Ino scowls down at her empty plate. “She should be his wife. I should have turned him down from the start—“

 “But you’re too good a liar, yeah. You’re programmed to go with it. You want it, something to legitimize your feelings for each other. Something to finally break your holds on each other. I wish my life were that thrilling,” Chouji sighs, a wicked smile on his face. He takes Ino’s plate and places it off to the side. “Imagine that.”

 “Imagine it? Neh, you’re practically living it with us. All the drama with no consequences.”

 “It’s the life!” he says with a beaming smile, all wickedness passed. “You’re really living it.”

 “What a joy,” he replies, nudging the last of his food around on the plate. 

 “Your turn, Shika,” Ino says, quiet. “I spilled my guts…”

 “And I spill mine.” he sighs for the umpteenth time that day. “Troublesome. I don’t want to get married. Not to Temari, not like this.”

 “And there it is!” Ino crows, regrettably proud of finally getting the truth from him. “The disgusting, excommunicable truth. I knew it.” She reaches for her tea and smirks around the rim of it as she drinks deeply. 

“Don’t brag,” Chouji chides. “You talked, let him talk.” 

Shikamaru’s sharp, side-eye glance softens. “It’s destroying our friendship, knowing how she feels and not returning those emotions. Too good a liar. I don’t want to lie, and I already have to about other things. I thought I loved her, but I think I have a hard time loving anyone.” The flowers Ino shoved into his hands before dinner speak volumes about his level of dedication to his supposed woman. 

Ino groans, dropping her head to his shoulder again and taking his hands in hers. “You’d marry her and be the happy husband and suffocate every time she laid a finger on you because you know it isn’t right,” she whispers. Shikamaru tightens his grip on her hand, sympathetic pain coming for them all. “Are we still mourning?”

“It’s difficult, neh, to imagine ourselves married when we’ve dealt so often with widows.” Sage advice from somebody so typically detached. Yet we owe it to people much stronger than us to try. Troublesome.”

“I guess… Marriage isn’t for either of you, but it’s found its way into our lives regardless. How funny that fate still finds a way.” Chouji rests his hand over theirs, silent and unwavering support, as team ten falls deep into contemplative dread. 


End file.
